- cross-posted to:
- 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- cross-posted to:
- 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I feel like I am not part of this world and just a outside observer. It doesn’t matter if good or bad things happen because I am disconnected from it all and just watching. When I talk to someone there is an invisible layer between us and we can’t communicate that well because we are part of two different worlds. The way I see things, hear things, feel things… are all different from everyone else. Very few seem to be able to relate to me about just a small array of things.
Have you heard of depersonalization/derealization?
I have had depersonalization as long as I can remember ):
I’m sorry to hear that. I went through a period of it as well but I think it was stress induced and perhaps the medication I was on at the time contributed.
Hope you’re well stranger
I’ve also tend to feel like an external observer.
Man, sounds familiar…
Spoke my heart
Lies, this is the best use of my time, the voices said so.
back on the chans
I wish I could find a girlfriend there. Those kind of women who don’t leave the house much, but I’m attracted to them, as they are as moody and dystopian as I’ve been in the past. I could talk to them all day, beating whatever depression is remaining, by sharing problems and making them vanish. I did so via Reddit, as there you can write to people in private. It was pleasant until they found the next best opportunity. As a girl it’s probably not hard to find another platonic opportunity, but easy to miss the true bro for life. I don’t think it’s misogynistic to point that out.
But on Chans there are mostly, to me unattractive, gay guys or racists and occasionally a thot (which probably is a guy too. lol). Separated by anonymity, together alone, never to find each other.
The thought of two individuals perfectly fitting together, but missing each other by a random event and then dying alone, is what makes life so strange to me. If only we’d be more aware of the moment. How many chances of real life events did I miss, that were my possible partner? How many people read this comment and moved on instead of sending me a PM?
Is it because we shame oversharing and look down upon people who do? We should stop shaming sharing people.
I wish I could find a girlfriend there
I once did this years ago, it was a mixed bag. In the spirit of oversharing, I had a dream last night where she held me tenderly, whispering in my ear a detailed explanation of why I am unattractive to her while I sobbed uncontrollably.
Thanks for sharing your dream. Dreams often suck because they aren’t as interactive. In real life one can deal with the situation one way or another, but a dream often blocks the exit or fighting back.
In real life this would fire me up, as I have enough self-esteem to not fall for manipulation like that anymore. Had to deal with this kind of bullying as helpless kid, so I’m immune now.
The thing about being in love is that you become much more emotionally vulnerable. Like a dream your notions of how things are or what options are available to you becomes warped towards whatever it needs to be true.
Damn, this shows up just after I spent 2hrs discussion with random strangers on disc and holy shit, it fits so well I’m rethinking everything
