*Redwan Ahmed Hadi Azmi and Amy Sood * 8-10 minutes 25/06/2023

Scanning the cafe between sips of his latte, Abir says caution is the byword of every gay man in Bangladesh.

“People have been killed for talking about homosexuality,” he told This Week in Asia, using a pseudonym for his safety. “I guess I am always rightfully paranoid.”

A doctor in his mid-30s who is a success by any measure and firmly upper middle-class, Abir remains unable to come out, fearing a rupture with his family, friends, colleagues and the patients at a job he loves.

“I’m afraid my mother won’t be able to handle it,” he said. “It’s not her fault; society and her relatives have shaped her views.”

Members of the transgender community read the holy Koran in Dhaka, Bangladesh’s capital. Photo: AFP

Bangladesh is a Muslim-majority country where same-sex relationships remain criminalised and conservative religious values are on the march despite the country’s secular tag.

That means Pride Month, held globally in June, is passing unmarked in public.

Yet, just like across other Muslim-majority nations from Malaysia to Indonesia, Pakistan and the Maldives, there are private gatherings in homes, embassies, civil-society hosted safe spaces or in online meet-ups – lifelines to a wider global LGBTQ community that promotes conversations on diversity and acceptance.

Bangladesh’s latest census recorded 12,629 transgender individuals, but the precise number of LGBTQ people in the country is unknown given the criminalisation of same-sex relationships and associated social stigma.

The threat to their lives is also very real.

In April 2016, Xulhaz Mannan, co-founder of Bangladesh’s first LGBTQ-focused magazine, and fellow activist Mahbub Tonoy, were murdered in a Dhaka flat by men with machetes and guns belonging to the al-Qaeda affiliate Ansar al-Islam.

“Xulhaz and Tonoy dedicated every ounce of power and influence they had for the betterment and protection of the Bangladeshi LGBTQ community,” Abir said. “When I heard the news, I felt like a blanket of protection had slowly disappeared.”

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Like most of Bangladesh’s 170 million people, Abir is a devout Muslim.

He said that over two tortuous decades he had managed to punch through the supposed precept – popularised by hardline clerics who view homosexuality as a sin and condemn same-sex relationships – that being gay and Muslim is somehow incompatible.

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“Often during Friday prayers, I had to endure the Imam’s homophobic speeches in the mosque,” Abir said. “But I also learned that Allah is compassionate.”

Now, he no longer feels his sexuality and religious beliefs are in contradiction and considers his relationship with God to be sacred. “I’m on my own quest to submit to my Allah,” he said.

But attitudes to same-sex relations are also underwritten by a British colonial-era law – Section 377 – that criminalises sodomy as “against the order of nature”. India repealed the law in 2018. Singapore did the same last year. There are no moves yet for Bangladesh to follow suit.

“LGBTQ people living in majority-Muslim countries in Asia are constantly running the gauntlet of discrimination, arrest and violence at the hands of both government officials and religious hardliners determined to stamp out any expression of sexual orientation and gender identity that contradicts their preconceived notions of Islamic propriety,” said Phil Robertson, deputy director of Human Rights Watch Asia.

“Facing this kind of intolerant targeting and abuses, it’s both amazing and commendable that LGBTQ activists continue to fight for their rights against all odds.”

Despite the heavy atmosphere, Malaysia’s LGBTQ community has been holding discreet parties to avoid the scrutiny of the state, and the general public. Photo: Shutterstock

‘Always the punching bag’ Across Asia’s Muslim nations, Pride Month has remained muted, with LGBTQ events an easy target for religious hardliners and opportunistic politicians.

Despite the heavy atmosphere, Malaysia’s queer community has been holding discreet parties to avoid the scrutiny of the public and the state.

“It’s all underground as everyone is afraid of being caught in the next raid,” said Naim, 37, from Kuala Lumpur who identifies as gay.

“There isn’t much of a celebratory mood anyway … what is there to celebrate in Malaysia since we are always the punching bag for politicians?” Naim said.

Not everyone from Malaysia’s LGBTQ community is as welcoming of Pride, however. Jay, a gay man in his late 40s, said the event brought too much attention to the community and it was better to just “live under the radar”.

Across the Strait of Malacca in Indonesia, homosexuality is not considered illegal, except in Aceh, the only province that enforces sharia or Islamic law. Same-sex relationships there are punishable by up to 100 lashes.

Veteran Indonesian LGBTQ activist Dede Oetomo says there has been a “lot of hateful rhetoric” about the community in recent years. Photo: Dedy Andrianto

Elsewhere in Indonesia, activists say LGBTQ rights and freedoms are being driven backwards by local powers.

Conversion therapy remains a common practice, typically carried out by Islamic clerics in neighbourhood mosques.

“There has been a lot of hateful rhetoric from mayors, district heads, governors, and some members of parliament,” said Dede Oetomo, a long-time campaigner for LGBTQ rights in Indonesia.

“At the same time, the central government hasn’t provided any protections for the community either,” he said. “Unfortunately, I think there is almost no light at the end of the tunnel.”

In December last year, Indonesia passed a controversial law banning sex outside marriage, drawing a rebuke from groups who say the morality clauses in it could be used to target the LGBTQ community.

The Indonesian Ulema Council, the country’s top body of Islamic scholars, last year urged Jakarta not to follow the lead of its Asian neighbours Vietnam and Singapore who eased some of their draconian laws towards same-sex relations.

And last month, the conservative body further called on concert organisers for Coldplay not to promote LGBTQ themes at the British rock band’s November show in Jakarta.

This Week in Asia interviewed Indonesian and Malaysian LGBTQ people for this article at Bangkok’s Pride event on June 4, as the Thai city has relatively permissive attitudes and a reputation for openness.

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Back in Bangladesh, however, many fear progress is being lost to the culture wars.

Two school textbooks were pulled from shelves in February following protests from Islamist groups, angered by a curriculum reform that aimed to recognise transgender identities, same-sex relationships and secular science.

Anonnya Banik, 45, the head of non-profit transgender rights group SadaKalo, was born a boy but identifies as a Hijra – a name used in South Asia for a community that includes transgender and intersex people.

“Me and my husband are working to break the stereotype around the Hijra people that they are just beggars and belong to the street only. We are helping them to get jobs, become entrepreneurs and master their own fate,” Anonnya said. “[But] many people don’t like this progress. They don’t want us to live.”

Wearied by the snail’s pace of progress Ushan, a gay man from Dhaka whose name has been changed to protect his identity, moved to Europe last year.

Despite leading a relatively trouble-free life in Bangladesh, he said he felt profound relief upon his arrival in Europe, where he could openly express his sexuality without fear of judgment.

But he acknowledged there was no magic bullet to end prejudices.

“Homosexuality is a thing that even many Westerners still struggle to fully accept,” he said. “For a homogenous society like Bangladesh … it is impractical to expect they’ll be very forthcoming about topics like this.”