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The Picard Maneuver to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works • 1 year ago

A dedicated dad joke

lemmy.world

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A dedicated dad joke

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works • 1 year ago
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  • @expatriado@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    did she do the invisible ink treatment?

    • @Master@lemm.ee
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      -35•1 year ago

      Written with her dads cum. Touching message indeed!

      • RedC
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        1 year ago

        I regret expanding this comment

        • BlanketsWithSmallpox
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          7•1 year ago

          He didn’t mind expanding something on the paper…

        • @Agrivar@lemmy.world
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          6•1 year ago

          As do I, but at least I was able to block another “person” from my view.

          • @Master@lemm.ee
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            17•1 year ago

            You wish to unsubscribe from history facts?

            https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/semen-invisible-ink/

            • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)
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              12•1 year ago

              And the dude who suggested using semen as invisible ink was named Cummings…

            • @MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world
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              8•1 year ago

              I’m down for more cum facts if you got any.

              Cannot believe I just typed those words.

  • Norgur
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    107•1 year ago

    Now imagine how fucking sad it would be if he had accidentally put a blank paper in there, thrown out the heartwarming and touching letter he’d written to his kid with all the feelings he never could express otherwise and died thinking his kid would at least find some comfort in those words.

    • Jo Miran
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      118•1 year ago

      I have a feeling that the blank paper hit harder. It seems like that gag perfectly encapsulated her dad’s sense of humor and their relationship.

      • @dmention7@lemm.ee
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        51•1 year ago

        Yeah, if I were in her shoes, it would be impossible not to imagine my dad chuckling to himself as he slipped his mortal bonds, smug with satisfaction at having pulled the longest, pettiest prank possible on your kid. That piece of paper would be a treasure.

    • @brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      49•1 year ago

      Reminds me of someone who said their dad died. They logged into the dad’s Facebook. He’d made a number of status updates over the preceding months, that gradually grew sadder IIRC.

      Not a single reply to any one.

      Visibility was accidentally set to only me. The guy never knew.

      • @some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        11•1 year ago

        That’s really unfortunate. Devastatingly so. Well, now I’m sad.

        • @brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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          4•1 year ago

          It’s OK, it’s only been in my head for several years 🙃

    • @LeroyJenkins@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I did this before. I was about to die and then accidentally put an empty letter paper into an envelope and thought the letter I did write to my daughter was my scratch paper… so I threw it away. I later passed but through a stroke of luck my daughter found my letter in the trash and was still able to read it. so I can rest easy now knowing that.

      • @cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world
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        10•1 year ago

        you…passed?

        I didnt realize theres internet in the afterlife

        • @Peppycito@sh.itjust.works
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          9•1 year ago

          Haven’t you heard about “the dead internet theory”?

        • @LeroyJenkins@lemmy.world
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          1•1 year ago

          there’s fiber up here

      • @Raxiel@lemmy.world
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        10•1 year ago

        Was the letter reassuring her that, even at the end, you had chicken?

        • @Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2•1 year ago

          Is this a Leroy Jenkins reference?

    • @Delusional@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It was actually a hidden message and she had to hold it under warmth to read it, never knew and threw it away.

    • @RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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      4•1 year ago

      He actually put both in there.

    • KillingTimeItself
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      3•1 year ago

      the ultimate dad joke, the letter was actually swapped with a family heirloom the entire time.

  • @Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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    48•1 year ago

    Many years ago, my dad and I were talking in the car, and I memorized a random license plate. Since then, he’s occasionally asked me if I remember, but I’m not allowed to say it or write it down anywhere because that’s cheating. If I remember right, he’s planning to quiz me on my wedding day, whenever that happens.

    • @ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      31•1 year ago

      but I’m not allowed to say it or write it down anywhere

      Convenient

      • @Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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        14•1 year ago

        The only assurance he has that I’m not going to make something up is that he knows I don’t lie.

        • @Tikiporch@lemmy.world
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          6•1 year ago

          • @Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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            5•1 year ago

            That sounds like a lie. I gave up lying looong ago.

        • @ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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          1 year ago

          I was just poking fun that you can’t prove it to us

          Not that we know the original anyway ٩(^‿^)۶

          • @Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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            3•1 year ago

            Haha, I don’t have to prove a thing to you. This is between me and my father.

    • @theneverfox@pawb.social
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      10•1 year ago

      My older brother used to make me memorize random things. When he took me to practice driving, he’d quiz me on the color and type of cars around me. He’d ask me license plates of people in the parking lot or to remember long combinations of words letters and numbers

      At one point, I could glance at an SSN or credit card number and remember it for a while… I can’t do it anymore, but my passwords are great. It’s amazing what the mind can be trained to do

      We also came up with this stupid super long url, I still remember it decades later but he can never get the whole thing right. One of these days I’m going to buy the domain name and put something up there, it’s almost a password in itself

      • @Sotuanduso@lemm.ee
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        24•1 year ago

        Can you give some examples of credit cards you’ve memorized? Don’t forget the three wacky numbers on the back.

        • @MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world
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          8•1 year ago

          We should know when they expire as well, just to be sure.

    • @IzzyScissor@lemmy.world
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      3•1 year ago

      Record yourself signing it in ASL. Doesn’t break his rules.

  • @suction@lemmy.world
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    30•1 year ago

    I’d see it as a positive, could have been Anthrax

    • @deathbysnusnu@lemmy.world
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      8•1 year ago

      Caught in a Mosh!

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆
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    26•1 year ago

    Maybe he wrote a secret message on it with invisible ink containing the location of El Dorado, the lost city of gold. You still have it, right?

  • @ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works
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    21•1 year ago

    Man, he really didn’t trust you did he?

  • Kichae
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    7•1 year ago

    She destroyed the sealed envelope! He really shouldn’t have trusted her with it!

  • @The_Tired_Horizon@lemmy.world
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    6•1 year ago

    Better than opening it to “you were adopted”

  • @LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world
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    4•1 year ago

    Mine couldn’t even put in that much effort

    • @Entropywins@lemmy.world
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      2•1 year ago

      They lost the envelope before giving it to you…

  • @angrystego@lemmy.world
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    -7•1 year ago

    I hope it was truly meant as a dad joke. It kind of reads like a control issue.

  • @killjuden@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Removed by mod

  • @rapechildren@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Removed by mod

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