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Flying Squid to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 9 months ago

Parenthood failure

lemmy.world

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Parenthood failure

lemmy.world

Flying Squid to Microblog Memes@lemmy.worldEnglish • 9 months ago
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  • NONE
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    9 months ago

    “Okay honey, it’s really cool that you’re Gay and all. But could you, like… Go back in the closet and come out again? It’s for something that’s very important to me” 🥺

  • @MsPenguinette@lemmy.world
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    164•9 months ago

    This man will never take a shower in peace without being haunted by this memory

    • dohpaz42
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      30•9 months ago

      You mean “shake a tower”. 🤦‍♂️

      • Hobthrob
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        3•9 months ago

        Is that an euphemisms for masturbation?

        • dohpaz42
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          9 months ago

          No. It’s a dad way of saying take a shower, by switching the first two letters of each word.

          Edit: another one is the fit has hit the shan, which is a less vulgar way of saying the shit has hit the fan.

          • Hobthrob
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            1•9 months ago

            Guess I still need to work on my own dad jokes, as mine apparently went “whoosh” right there.

    • @Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world
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      2•9 months ago

      It will be on his tombstone.

  • @NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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    58•9 months ago

    Homie has the opportunity to ascend to a higher plane of dadhood and completly blew it

  • @CaptDust@sh.itjust.works
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    44•9 months ago

    You should turn in the dad card immediately, the offices are open 9-3. The regulations were clearly defined - no exceptions.

  • RandomStickman
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    28•9 months ago

    Probably need to buy a few pairs of New Balance and khakis for redemption

  • @jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works
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    27•9 months ago

    “You are a father but we do not grant you the rank of ‘Dad’.”

  • @Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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    25•9 months ago

    Devastating.

  • @penquin@lemm.ee
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    17•9 months ago

    I’m actually mad about it now. Fucking wasted it, man :/

  • @troglodytis@lemmy.world
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    14•9 months ago

    Are you sure you’re even her dad?

    • @gmtom@lemmy.world
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      3•9 months ago

      Man needs a paternity test ASAP

  • moosetwin
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    14•9 months ago

    gonna have to take your dad classes again

  • @SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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    12•9 months ago

    Task failed successfully

  • @mavu@discuss.tchncs.de
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    6•9 months ago

    In a similar situation, i just looked at my wife and said “you owe me 5€.”

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