I’m not sure they’ve thought this through… If CEOs start hiring armed guards, then doesn’t the next Luigi just become one? Uber-like services aren’t exactly known for their stringent hiring practices.
Shhhh 🤫
Yeah like my first thought was well the next Luigi can get paid to be given the adress to show up to.
This isn’t for CEOs. This is for people with more money than sense who are also paranoid as fuck. CEOs can afford to hire security that they can run thorough background checks on.
Luigi didn’t really have a background that would have flagged him.
The beauty of Luigi’s* escapade is that they had no fucking clue who he was until they arrested him - over a hundred miles away in fucking Pennsylvania. If he had committed to the bit and put more thought into the getaway he probably could have gotten away with it completely.
You get hired by this service, they will have all your personal info and that will get handed over to authorities immediately if you went rogue. You would be an FBI top 10 fugitive and have millions of dollars spent on bringing you in, warm or cold.
*allegedly, innocent until proven guilty, etc.
Rich don’t mean smart
Systematically driving down the wages of the people you expect to catch a bullet for you by gig-ifying their industry seems like a pretty terrible idea if you’re someone who depends on armed security for your continued existence.
I guess I’ll go make some popcorn.
Would you trust your life to be well-protected by someone you hire for $18/hour in a gig economy?
Grifters gonna grift.
Surge pricing when?
Be the change you want to see in the world?
Brilliant, just the thing I need to protect me from all the disgusting poors that I’ve fucked over to become obscenely wealthy; gig workers with no job security!
Countdown to when they make the public pay for it again like they did when they pushed for their private security to be made into police forces.
What’s more baffling to me, why the hell is it high up in the rankings on an app store? Are there that many wealthy people that have killed millions with pens? Least I thought apps were ranked by how many people use them rather than how much money they bring in). Plus you’d figure most the people in the budget to be hiring motorcades… would be better served hiring a few full time security guards.
Plus you’d figure most the people in the budget to be hiring motorcades… would be better served hiring a few full time security guards.
One thing you can never underestimate is just how cheap some of these cunts are.
That’s how they stay rich, while the rest of us spend our measly incomes on stuff like rent and food.
If that were the case, it would almost be understandable. But so many of these twats couldn’t spend all their money in a single lifetime - anyone who has an 9-digit net worth (or mid-level 8-digit) could pay my monthly rent every day of their lives and, without making another cent, still die with more money than I will make in ten lifetimes.
Yet they prefer to cheat people - for example, out of a measly few hundred dollars in legally-mandated and agreed-upon overtime pay per year - to the most basic, fundamental decency.
Not even by their own professed values of well-negotiated mutual contractual obligations are they decent human beings, and that’s a low fucking bar.
They should’ve called it Goonr
Sure would be a shame if a bunch of normal people hired them for bachelorette parties and stuff, preventing them from responding to CEO requests.
Just sayin’… our 15th Wedding Anniversary is coming up, who wouldn’t want an Escalade entourage? ;)
That’s who is going to be hiring them though. People who have no need for such security because they were never in any danger to begin with, but had the money to throw away on this either because they’re paranoid or they want to show off.
CEOs can afford Academi.
They CAN, but they are also notoriously cheap. :)
I do wonder what this service costs though.
Their promo video is hilarious. Agent 47 over here immediately jumps behind the “protectee” as she climbs into an SUV, like six inches behind her. Even though he has backup and there is no crowd, he’s handling it like a celebrity-vs-mob situation or something. He has no clue what he’s doing, just what he thinks looks right for the camera.
I’ve worked with a real, retired bodyguard before; somebody who has had to protect people from actual, active threats in hostile environments. He was the head of security at the office I worked in, and was chill as fuck. People like that carry themselves a certain way. They move with intent and telegraph nothing. The dude I worked with was in his 60s but could still whoop my ass before I knew what hit me, he was like what I’d imagine a retired Jason Bourne to be.
These guys are like… the Paul Blart version of that. They’re just doing live-fire LARPing.
This is real?!? When I first heard about this, I thought it was a joke.
