Hello,

I have schizophrenia however you won’t even know it unless I tell you myself, I only have delusion of reference and delusion of persecution. I feel like people want to harm me or mocking me. I don’t hear any voices though which is the major symptom of schizophrenia. I am afraid of water and soap too.

AMA :)

  • whoareuOP
    2•15 hours ago

    Persecution for me is like everyone has malicious motive and they are only being nice to me because they want something from me. I sometimes doubt my father hates me because he accidentally turned off the power switch of my server.

    Now I know not everyone is against me they have better things to do with their lives but I still feel inside me that someone wants to do something to me.

    I don’t know if it even makes any sense to you but that’s how I feel.

    • Call me Lenny/LeniEnglish
      2•12 hours ago

      It makes sense to me. These are relatable trust issues. People who truly know where I’m guilty and where I’m innocent tend to be more passive than those who find themselves in conflicts with me and wouldn’t be against making it seem like everything I do is some kind of guilty action, which leads to that kind of dynamic. Know that I’m always here for you, and that I won’t judge you for even the most judgment-triggering aspects about you, and that friendship and your happiness is enough of a reward for me.

      As for the other thing, what’s “delusion of reference”?

      • whoareuOP
        2•12 hours ago

        Thank you so much for those kind words. ❤️❤️❤️

        So the “delusion of reference” is I feel like everyone is looking at me (not in a good way but like judging kind of way). To explain this a bit more I want to share an observation made by my father. He knows that I have “delusion of reference”. I was standing in his shop beside him and I didn’t know he was observing me. After some time he told me that he noticed a thing, I was continuously checking if those customers were looking at me or not. He was right I was periodically looking at the customer because I thought they are looking at me.

        However since when I started taking medicines I am not feeling that way as much as I used to. I still sometimes feels that people are looking at me but it’s not that bad.

        If you want to know more about my situation I have wrote almost everything in @schizophrenia@lemmy.ca community.

        Thank you for reading this 😊