Next time your partner tells someone who didn’t already know about the pregnancy, listen carefully to them saying “we’re having a baby” and not “I am”.
Your biological view of who’s carrying is not the same thing, at all, as the joint life-upending experience about to hit both parents. Seeing “having a baby” as something that happens to the woman shows a disassociation/lack of internalization of how both parties are very much involved in this never-ending comittment.
Dont get me wrong, I definitely know you mean. Seeing yourselves as a unity is important and reflecting that in the way you talk can be beneficial, words carry meaning after all.
But, I heavily disagree that you can deduce someones devotion to a relationship or their ability to be a parent from a single sentence posted in a joke. And even if someone does not talk like that at all, they can still feel differently.
Also, funny you mention my wife, because she talks in a very peculiar way. Most often, when talking about herself or her pregnancy, she would say things like “your back hurts” or “you have nausea” like in a general sense, but it only applies to herself. I sometimes say “you mean you do” or something, but she doesnt even realize which words she uses. Not everyone forms sentences like a mathematical equation. I know I do, thats why its been difficult to understand that others dont necessarily and that brains work in different ways.
I’m guessing you’re not a parent.
Actually, Im about to be. And I really dont appreciate your gatekeeping, its very childish.
Congrats! To address OP from the chain, no one is ready for father hood… So good luck!
Next time your partner tells someone who didn’t already know about the pregnancy, listen carefully to them saying “we’re having a baby” and not “I am”.
Your biological view of who’s carrying is not the same thing, at all, as the joint life-upending experience about to hit both parents. Seeing “having a baby” as something that happens to the woman shows a disassociation/lack of internalization of how both parties are very much involved in this never-ending comittment.
Dont get me wrong, I definitely know you mean. Seeing yourselves as a unity is important and reflecting that in the way you talk can be beneficial, words carry meaning after all.
But, I heavily disagree that you can deduce someones devotion to a relationship or their ability to be a parent from a single sentence posted in a joke. And even if someone does not talk like that at all, they can still feel differently.
Also, funny you mention my wife, because she talks in a very peculiar way. Most often, when talking about herself or her pregnancy, she would say things like “your back hurts” or “you have nausea” like in a general sense, but it only applies to herself. I sometimes say “you mean you do” or something, but she doesnt even realize which words she uses. Not everyone forms sentences like a mathematical equation. I know I do, thats why its been difficult to understand that others dont necessarily and that brains work in different ways.