“What is the purpose of this meeting and why do I need to be included” is a perfectly polite series of words to use. The wording matters far less than the tone of voice.
I vastly prefer clear and direct questions over the reply that sounds passive aggressive from the very beginning.
I think you underestimate how thin the skin of the professional managerial class is. It’s not about the tone of voice it’s about the directness and how that’s facilitating “conflict”.
I do understand and it does not matter how you phrase it for those types of people. Pretending that it could have been said the ‘right’ way is a waste of time because, as you said, they consider even asking to be facilitating conflict.
There are also good managers out there, they just aren’t as memorable as the ones who make everything into drama. The good ones also tend to be driven to other jobs because of the jerk managers…
I like to insist on basic standards: “Please provide an agenda that explains why we’re needed. Otherwise, I’ll have to turn down this meeting. Thanks.” and reply all.
Often, others will agree the lack of written preparation is a problem & follow suit.
If the agenda is simple & clear enough, I’ll just answer in writing so we can cancel the meeting.
“What is the purpose of this meeting and why do I need to be included” is a perfectly polite series of words to use. The wording matters far less than the tone of voice.
I vastly prefer clear and direct questions over the reply that sounds passive aggressive from the very beginning.
I think you underestimate how thin the skin of the professional managerial class is. It’s not about the tone of voice it’s about the directness and how that’s facilitating “conflict”.
I do understand and it does not matter how you phrase it for those types of people. Pretending that it could have been said the ‘right’ way is a waste of time because, as you said, they consider even asking to be facilitating conflict.
There are also good managers out there, they just aren’t as memorable as the ones who make everything into drama. The good ones also tend to be driven to other jobs because of the jerk managers…
Yep, clear & direct is kindness.
I like to insist on basic standards: “Please provide an agenda that explains why we’re needed. Otherwise, I’ll have to turn down this meeting. Thanks.” and reply all. Often, others will agree the lack of written preparation is a problem & follow suit.
If the agenda is simple & clear enough, I’ll just answer in writing so we can cancel the meeting.
I wouldn’t say “perfectly” polite, but it’s definitely not offensive.
The response in the OP definitely doesn’t need further tonal clarification, though. It’s tough for anyone to classify that response as hostile.