There are lots of reasons for using a smartphone beyond avoiding engaging in conversation though. Looking things up, sharing contact info, planning another date, paying for the meal/event, even going to a movie can almost require an app.
I’m not saying these would be the majority of the time or anything, but not using your phone whatsoever is more of a limitation than you’d think.
It’s only been 2 years since my last “first date”. I know the world moves pretty fast, but I’d be shocked to discover that in the last 24 months the world went from “can be traversed without looking at your phone” to not.
I guess I’d turn it around on you: NOT using your phone is NOT as much of a limitation as you’d think.
Also, so many stupid things we do on our phone are things that could be an interaction with your date instead. What WAS that movie with Brendan Fraser with The Rock? Where IS that restaurant with no lights and all the servers are blind? What time is it? What direction is the river from here? What nationality is Santa Claus? How far north would we have to go so that Zombies would be frozen solid for at least 3 months per year? The point of a date is to attempt to form a bond, and it’s the shared journey that gets you there, not the successful and efficient completion of independent tasks.
Obviously, if the only way to pay for the meal is to tap your phone, tap your phone. The PHONE isn’t the enemy. It’s that you’re your own enemy, and that your nervousness and awkwardness is going to try to push you into the comfort of your phone for reasons that you REALLY don’t need to be on your phone for. Embrace the awkwardness and as much as physically possible lean on your date for anything you imagine your phone can do.
Oh, I don’t disagree, people opt-out of being present in favor of their phones far too often. I’m just reminding us of the context of hiding your social, financial, and often legal, sci-fi multi-tool. Reducing usage and eliminating usage can be very different things for many people.
There are lots of reasons for using a smartphone beyond avoiding engaging in conversation though. Looking things up, sharing contact info, planning another date, paying for the meal/event, even going to a movie can almost require an app.
I’m not saying these would be the majority of the time or anything, but not using your phone whatsoever is more of a limitation than you’d think.
People with existing family trying to date, like a single parent checking on their kids. For sure the blanket no phone attitude is unrealistic.
Despite the boomer energy, I’m not actually one.
It’s only been 2 years since my last “first date”. I know the world moves pretty fast, but I’d be shocked to discover that in the last 24 months the world went from “can be traversed without looking at your phone” to not.
I guess I’d turn it around on you: NOT using your phone is NOT as much of a limitation as you’d think.
Also, so many stupid things we do on our phone are things that could be an interaction with your date instead. What WAS that movie with Brendan Fraser with The Rock? Where IS that restaurant with no lights and all the servers are blind? What time is it? What direction is the river from here? What nationality is Santa Claus? How far north would we have to go so that Zombies would be frozen solid for at least 3 months per year? The point of a date is to attempt to form a bond, and it’s the shared journey that gets you there, not the successful and efficient completion of independent tasks.
Obviously, if the only way to pay for the meal is to tap your phone, tap your phone. The PHONE isn’t the enemy. It’s that you’re your own enemy, and that your nervousness and awkwardness is going to try to push you into the comfort of your phone for reasons that you REALLY don’t need to be on your phone for. Embrace the awkwardness and as much as physically possible lean on your date for anything you imagine your phone can do.
Oh, I don’t disagree, people opt-out of being present in favor of their phones far too often. I’m just reminding us of the context of hiding your social, financial, and often legal, sci-fi multi-tool. Reducing usage and eliminating usage can be very different things for many people.