I miss my days of running a hardware store, mostly because of our forklift. Idiots had a penchant for blocking the entrance to our parking lot for some reason – I can’t fathom why – and when called out on it they’d give us lip right up until I mentioned we’d just pick up their car with the forklift and put it somewhere else.

I never actually had to do it. I did lift a pallet thief’s truck until he put my goddamn pallets back one time, though. That was pretty fun.