Yeah I stumbled across him on Facebook in 2021. He took a lot of those posts down, the ones that said he’d divorce her id she got the vaccine, but I saw them all.
Sure, but that kind of thing mostly refers to housing and income. It would be trivial to get vaccinated without telling your spouse or anyone else who wants to make a big deal out of it. This lady made the bet that appeasing her husband was more important than getting vaccinated and she lost that bet. Her husband certainly bears a large portion of the blame for creating the situation she found herself in but she could have easily found her way out of it without causing a fuss. She chose not to.
I don’t think you’ve been in a relationship like what I’m talking about, and I’m glad for you. Emotional abuse is terrifying. I live it and it’s absolutely killing me and because of money I can do nothing different.
I hate hearing that you’re in this situation. I know there are a lot of things that make it hard to escape but I hope one day you’re able to. I don’t know if you’re in the US but just in case: thehotline.org leads to the national domestic violence hotline’s website, which has an easy X button to press if you have to close it quickly. The website says they can help in cases of emotional abuse and when people are stuck due to finances.
Not matter how insurmountable it may seem, I suggest you take a few minutes, each day, week, month to plan an escape in secret. Find allies outside of the relationship. Leave nothing behind you cannot replace, especially child and animals.
Make multiple escape plans, no matter how unlikely they seem.
The more the better so when an opportunity presents itself you are already read and just go. The element of surprise is critical.
Yes all that’s wide open. I’m not like locked in a cage, I attend two decent jobs every day and I do have friends. But the huge insurmountable problems could only be fixed by a big windfall and some power over my life.
On the bright side I have gotten vaccinated against COVID seven times now so at least I’ll probably live.
I’m sure it is a very unpleasant situation to be in. That doesn’t change the fact that getting vaccinated is simple, cheap, and as anonymous as you would like it to be.
You can call it whatever you like but it won’t make what I’m saying any less true. Getting vaccinated is intentionally easy to do. Laws prohibit doctors and any organization with access from sharing medical records. A shitty spouse has less control over this choice than the vast majority of choices in your life.
I’m sending the message to anyone reading this that it is possible to get vaccinated even if there are people in your life who don’t want you to do that. What are you doing besides telling people it’s important to get vaccinated unless it’s a bit more difficult than it should be? Who does that help? Everyone already knows that abusive spouses are dicks. That fact doesn’t need any more attention.
It’s not a universal truth that you can just choose to get a vaccination without making an appointment or needing to involve insurance etc.
In a hypothetical extreme scenario, imagine having to weigh the risks between getting the vaccine that will potentially save your life and unexpectedly getting an appointment reminder text/email or follow-up contact that alerts the controlling partner and they potentially end your life for the “transgression.”
The vaccine being “cheap” is also not universal and if you aren’t allowed personal discretionary spending anything >$0 isn’t cheap enough.
Yes, you’ve successfully summarized the situation this woman may have faced. She chose to let the fear of her spouse make her decision for her. Did she make the right decision? I don’t think so. She’s still dead. At least if she was murdered for choosing to get vaccinated it could be said that she did everything she could to keep herself alive. Maybe that’s a meaningless distinction and maybe it isn’t. I think that comes down to the way you view personal responsibility. Still, whether coerced or not her decision lead to her death and that’s worth pointing out no matter how unfortunate you find the circumstances that lead up to it.
You are of course free to disagree with that assessment but I am firmly of the belief that getting vaccinated is always better than not getting vaccinated unless you have a valid medical reason to avoid vaccination.
This is pretty yikes man. I hope that you’re still like in high school or something and have time to grow a little because the thought of someone having as little compassion or understanding as yourself is concerning.
You know there are people who can’t leave the house without their spouse going with them, right? Like literally that’s the amount of control there is. They are never alone and never have the chance to get it. You really don’t get what scary lives some people lead.
I agree with your overall arguments and your position, just not the way you have portrayed it.
It would be trivial
she could have easily
getting vaccinated is simple, cheap, and as anonymous as you would like it to be
A shitty spouse has less control over this choice than the vast majority of choices in your life.
All reads like blaming the victim or not acknowledging that there can be barriers you possibly haven’t even considered between a desire to act and an ability to. The goal absolutely should be about making personal decisions even in the face of adversity, but when you reduce it like it’s just them being lazy, and not recognizing the full extent of their reality, it doesn’t come across as empowering. Maybe decisions are also being made with consideration of their children and their needs which also affects the calculus in making otherwise personal choices.
By bombarding her with antivaxxer propaganda and threatening her with divorce if she got it sadly.
Grown or not, some people are very much under their spouse’s control because of money and other vulnerability.
Are you for real “for real”? This is OC and you know the backstory?
Yeah I stumbled across him on Facebook in 2021. He took a lot of those posts down, the ones that said he’d divorce her id she got the vaccine, but I saw them all.
Yeah but did you see them as a person on the land or as your corporate form?
Both, it’s was weird.
Ok, I get what you’re saying, but she could have just gotten vaccinated without him knowing.
Yeah, I know, easy for me to say. But at some point, you need to take agency over your own decisions.
There’s people who can’t leave the house without their spouse tailing along.
Sure, but that kind of thing mostly refers to housing and income. It would be trivial to get vaccinated without telling your spouse or anyone else who wants to make a big deal out of it. This lady made the bet that appeasing her husband was more important than getting vaccinated and she lost that bet. Her husband certainly bears a large portion of the blame for creating the situation she found herself in but she could have easily found her way out of it without causing a fuss. She chose not to.
I don’t think you’ve been in a relationship like what I’m talking about, and I’m glad for you. Emotional abuse is terrifying. I live it and it’s absolutely killing me and because of money I can do nothing different.
I hate hearing that you’re in this situation. I know there are a lot of things that make it hard to escape but I hope one day you’re able to. I don’t know if you’re in the US but just in case: thehotline.org leads to the national domestic violence hotline’s website, which has an easy X button to press if you have to close it quickly. The website says they can help in cases of emotional abuse and when people are stuck due to finances.
I really wish you the best OP <3
Thank you. Unfortunately I am not and I’d never leave my dogs behind, but some days are really awful.
Not matter how insurmountable it may seem, I suggest you take a few minutes, each day, week, month to plan an escape in secret. Find allies outside of the relationship. Leave nothing behind you cannot replace, especially child and animals.
Make multiple escape plans, no matter how unlikely they seem.
The more the better so when an opportunity presents itself you are already read and just go. The element of surprise is critical.
I think that’s a wonderful idea.
Oh no! So sorry to hear that
💙🦴🦴🌑
Thank you. Some days really just suck the rigid cock of Satan these last few years.
Leave Satan out of this; all he does is punish bad people, facilitate gangbangs and spawn metal bands
Damn
Yo your internet unrestricted? (Imaging upskilling you into a position of self sufficiency, a guy can dream right)
Yes all that’s wide open. I’m not like locked in a cage, I attend two decent jobs every day and I do have friends. But the huge insurmountable problems could only be fixed by a big windfall and some power over my life.
On the bright side I have gotten vaccinated against COVID seven times now so at least I’ll probably live.
I’m sure it is a very unpleasant situation to be in. That doesn’t change the fact that getting vaccinated is simple, cheap, and as anonymous as you would like it to be.
Is it? Did she have her own transportation? Was she able to leave the house without her husband’s knowledge, or without him keeping tabs on her?
What you’re doing is victim blaming at its finest. Just stop.
You can call it whatever you like but it won’t make what I’m saying any less true. Getting vaccinated is intentionally easy to do. Laws prohibit doctors and any organization with access from sharing medical records. A shitty spouse has less control over this choice than the vast majority of choices in your life.
I’m sending the message to anyone reading this that it is possible to get vaccinated even if there are people in your life who don’t want you to do that. What are you doing besides telling people it’s important to get vaccinated unless it’s a bit more difficult than it should be? Who does that help? Everyone already knows that abusive spouses are dicks. That fact doesn’t need any more attention.
It’s not a universal truth that you can just choose to get a vaccination without making an appointment or needing to involve insurance etc.
In a hypothetical extreme scenario, imagine having to weigh the risks between getting the vaccine that will potentially save your life and unexpectedly getting an appointment reminder text/email or follow-up contact that alerts the controlling partner and they potentially end your life for the “transgression.”
The vaccine being “cheap” is also not universal and if you aren’t allowed personal discretionary spending anything >$0 isn’t cheap enough.
Yes, you’ve successfully summarized the situation this woman may have faced. She chose to let the fear of her spouse make her decision for her. Did she make the right decision? I don’t think so. She’s still dead. At least if she was murdered for choosing to get vaccinated it could be said that she did everything she could to keep herself alive. Maybe that’s a meaningless distinction and maybe it isn’t. I think that comes down to the way you view personal responsibility. Still, whether coerced or not her decision lead to her death and that’s worth pointing out no matter how unfortunate you find the circumstances that lead up to it.
You are of course free to disagree with that assessment but I am firmly of the belief that getting vaccinated is always better than not getting vaccinated unless you have a valid medical reason to avoid vaccination.
This is pretty yikes man. I hope that you’re still like in high school or something and have time to grow a little because the thought of someone having as little compassion or understanding as yourself is concerning.
You know there are people who can’t leave the house without their spouse going with them, right? Like literally that’s the amount of control there is. They are never alone and never have the chance to get it. You really don’t get what scary lives some people lead.
I agree with your overall arguments and your position, just not the way you have portrayed it.
All reads like blaming the victim or not acknowledging that there can be barriers you possibly haven’t even considered between a desire to act and an ability to. The goal absolutely should be about making personal decisions even in the face of adversity, but when you reduce it like it’s just them being lazy, and not recognizing the full extent of their reality, it doesn’t come across as empowering. Maybe decisions are also being made with consideration of their children and their needs which also affects the calculus in making otherwise personal choices.
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