This has happened to me a few times. One I remember was the game Alchemist, where I just sat there confused as hell for 4 and a half hours while three guys were all talking about strategies. Tonight it was Terraforming Mars, where I was told it would be a 3 hour game, but by hour 4 we were halfway done. This time I said “it’s 11pm, I have work in the morning, this will be my last hand” and the host got very passive aggressive with me. I just don’t know what to do in these situations.
^Also is there a word for this? My girlfriend said I was “held game hostage” but I don’t see that used in my searches.^
Update: I sent an apology for leaving early, and he wasn’t too frustrated about it and understood my frustration which was nice. I told him I didn’t think it was my cup of tea since it was so dense, but he kept trying to sell me on the game.
I just gotta learn how to decline with this guy, he is a bit of a “won’t take no for an answer” person, but I’m still learning to be firm with boundaries.
I’m really a 45 minute or less person, and prefer games with like… 5 rules. I have communicated that before, but he really wants me to play the games he loves which I take as a compliment.
He did have me playing Dominion for a while, and that was a time when I just would suck it up and play for his sake since he was going through a divorce. We literally had the parks and rec sketch where I said “I don’t really like Dominion” and he said “what do you mean? You’ve played all the games!”
He housed me when I was homeless, so it’s hard for me to decline things with him since he showed me that huge kindness.
Open and honest communication. Just say that you’re not interested in the game.
If the host gets passive-aggressive you could try to talk civilised about that. In case they don’t show the necessary understanding or are difficult to talk to, they might not be the kind of acquaintance you would like to keep.
To clarify, say that BEFORE starting the game. If we’re 3 hours into a 4 hour game and you bail because you’re not interested, depending on how it affects the game lots of people would get pretty pissy.
Had the exact opposite happen once — playing Risk with a group of friends, one guy ends up completely dominating the board. Almost everyone is out, just him and one other person left.
Everyone wants to either start a new game or go to a pub, but he still hasn’t won. We ask him several times if he’s accomplished his goal yet; he hasn’t.
He drags the game out by an additional 3 hours, and finally wins. Turns out he had won some 4 hours earlier, and “forgot” or “misunderstood” his objective. In reality, assholes just wanted to try to take over the whole world, and thought we wouldn’t insist on seeing the objective card afterwards.
We banned him from participating in any and all games. For life. This was some 25 years ago. I haven’t seen him for 10+ years, but to the best of my knowledge, nobody from that particular friend group (around 12 people) ever let him participate in any games again.