Likely something along the lines of…

Recently Putin announced a $20,000 sign-up bonus for any recruit from Moscow. This is where most veterans and their families live, with the most experience and training. Putin also announced that there will be “no extra spending” assigned for this… so where will the money come from, you might ask?

Recently Putin also put a nephew of a trusted party in charge of the military funding management. He said he’ll keep a direct line open, for reporting any irregularities (aka: corruption), so they can be dealt with swiftly.

However, a dictator needs to pay his minions, and up until now Putin has been paying them by accepting a certain level of corruption. How will he keep his post as supreme leader, if he stops paying his minions, you might ask?

Weeeeeeellll… don’t tell him the truth, lest you might slip off a 4th floor window in a 3 floor building.