• Annoyed_🦀 A
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    233 months ago

    Very incel way of looking at relationship.

    • Skua
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      103 months ago

      For real. Sex is great, sure. What I want for all of the parts of the relationship that aren’t having sex is mostly just someone I really like hanging out with

      • Annoyed_🦀 A
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        113 months ago

        Incel doesn’t exactly only mean hating woman, incel is basically why you’re still single, then you blame it on everything else other than you, hating woman are just a part of it. If someone doesn’t want to accept your way of living, then find someone else.

        • @Kimdracula@sh.itjust.works
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          -53 months ago

          I’m not blaming anything. I’m well aware what an average semi attractive woman wants from a man. I will never be those things. That’s not me, I never cared about being those things.

          • @MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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            83 months ago

            I will never be those things.

            Before I was in a relationship, I was 100% wrong about what “those things” actually are, for what that’s worth.

            • @Kimdracula@sh.itjust.works
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              3 months ago

              You’re a minority, women want most of the time chatting and socially active strong men able to carry a conversation, manly enough to create a home and have a decent amount of money but delicate enough to be romantic. I can’t do any of those things. Admit it, that’s the majority of women.

              • Pandantic [they/them]
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                73 months ago

                So, have you been in past relationships where you learned this or from some sort of observation (going on dates for example)?

                • @Kimdracula@sh.itjust.works
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                  3 months ago

                  I’ve never been in a relationship. I know this by proxy, average, heard things, data. You don’t need to be in a relationship to notice these things dude. Again, if the requirements for a relationship would be as low as the other dude says they were, then people like me wouldn’t exist.

                  • Pandantic [they/them]
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                    73 months ago

                    So is your relationship abstinence due to striking out because your personality or idea of relationships doesn’t fit the norm and you can’t find a suitable partner, or has your perception of relationships kept you from pursuing relationships entirely?

              • @bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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                43 months ago

                This is an incel attitude. The notion that “all women” want any single thing, let alone this caricature is gross. It’s insulting to women and men alike, and betrays that your mindset is immature, ill-informed, and toxic.

              • @MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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                23 months ago

                women want most of the time chatting and socially active strong men able to carry a conversation, manly enough to create a home and have a decent amount of money but delicate enough to be romantic.

                That is also what I thought. And I was mostly wrong.

                Everyone is unique. Stereotypes usually exist for reasons, but exceptions are much more common than I realized.

                I am, genuinely, several of those things, at least a small fraction of the time.

                But that’s not my secret.

                I’ll share my key attributes that really worked:

                • My current partner lived in a shitty situation. Physically shitty. I fixed a bunch of gaps in the walls with a can a “great stuff”. We were just friends at the time, and I wasn’t looking for anything. It’s just something I knew how to do, and my friend’s friend (now my long term partner) needed it done. I was fucking clueless how much this meant to them, at the time.

                Presently, how I maintain my relationship:

                • I’m sometimes really deeply shitty at talking to people, so I usually use few words and choose them carefully. My (valid) fear of fucking up is a kind of super power for avoiding dumb partner fights.
                • I still fix stuff. I’m not afraid of getting dirty, and YouTube academy has been very good to me.
                • I ask questions during any kind of physical interaction. Mainly “do you want to be touched there?” and “How does that feel?”
                • I still follow a strict budget, even though I now make good money. I’ve heard money fights are a big thing, but making and mostly sticking to a written budget has let me dodge that bullet.
                • @Kimdracula@sh.itjust.works
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                  -23 months ago

                  Stereotype exist because it’s a reality. You being lucky has nothing to do with that. I could try to do what you had done 50 times without any results.