I’ll go first.
The first time I realized I was racist was in the summer of 1998. Ironically, my best friend at the time was Marshall Gaskin, a big, black, beautiful man: a gentle giant and an incredible artist. We lived in adjacent buildings in an artist’s co-op just outside of Toronto. I’m grateful for having known him, for he was a major influence in my life. Sadly, he is no longer with us.
One day at the co-op, I was going through the underground parking lot and came across a young black man leaning on a car door towards a young white woman seated on the other side of the open window. Without hesitation, I pointedly looked at the woman and asked,” Are you alright”? She nodded, and I walked away.
My stomach turns at the memory of it. Who the fuck was I to presume that this woman was in trouble. The same feeling I had the next day, upon realizing what I had implied to a complete stranger.
More and more, I became acutely aware of my racism. Like the time I was in an elevator with three black men much larger than me. I noticed that I felt uncomfortable, and my heart started to pound. Faster. Faster. I thought, “What the fuck. This is racism! If these were three white guys, I would be cracking jokes.” After leaving the elevator I was grateful that I could see through the bullshit. I’ve extracted and examined most of my racist moments, and although I think I will always be racist to some minor degree, I acknowledge that any is too much.
I write this because I recently recounted a story that my mother told me to a group of friends. It was a story that my uncle would often repeat about a souvenir tin plate from Niagara Falls. I realize now that this wasn’t a story about something my uncle purchased. It was a racial slur wrapped in a story that he could tell over and over again. I never liked that he enjoyed making fun of minorities, and yet here I was … participating.
I write this because I am sorry.
I write this because I’m ashamed.
I write this for Marshall.
I miss you buddy.
I grew up in a ghetto part of a main city in the south. As the only white kid in classes some times i tended to gravitate toward to majority. I listened to rap with them and even rapped along and no one ever cared untill i became an adult. And the way i would talk about black people, having grown up around them seemed racist to white people yet no black person cared. Then i let it out i have no issue saying the n word and jesus did some tight asses think i was even more racist. Then while hanging out an older black dude i worked with asked me about it i mentioned i dont see any issue saying it unless i meant something negative. I compared it to the word bitch. Then i told him this racist joke i told to my aunt while drunk and the guy busted out laughing. Then told me if it werent funny he was gonna break his beer bottle across my head. I wasnt scared, i grew up with black people and i am not racist. But people like to think i am.
I grew up in a tiny rural mountain town in North Carolina. There was maybe two black families in that entire county at the time and one that went to my highschool. One could say that I was sheltered from the rest of the world entirely.
Back then we didn’t go out of our way to be racist, we just were. It’s how we grew up and it’s what people knew. To us our attitude wasn’t racist, it was normal.
Fast forward the clock to when I was about 17, me and my mother moved to Greensboro, NC where I would speculate that white people are still a minority. I got a job at a nearby McDonald’s, (Holden/Highpoint Rd, if you were curious…) where me and another girl were the only white people who worked there.
Now, by that time, I had already started to realize that my thought patterns and assumptions were just blatantly incorrect. One night, I was working night shift with the white girl and during a smoke break, I explained my confusion, explained where I grew up and asked for advice on what I should do and how I should approach other people. We talked for a while over a few cigarettes, but the core of the story was that people are just people, no matter how they look.
I am not embarrassed about my past and I am proud of mind-shift and personal growth I was willing to take at the time, especially being only 17. People can develop and change, especially if they are poisoned by ignorance and are willing to see another perspective.
Today, people can still have wildly bizarre opinions and sometimes, they are unaware that those opinions can cause behaviors that are hateful and even dangerous in some cases. In some cases, all it takes is a slight push to tumble down a nasty tower of stereotypes and logical fallacies.
So, I acknowledge that my past behavior was wrong, I took the appropriate steps to correct my behavior and I am a better person because of it. If needed, I would have been willing to make true and honest amends whenever possible.
Wallowing in any sin of my past doesn’t do anyone any good.
Congrats on being willing and able to reflect on yourself, learn, grow, and change. Too many people refuse to do those things. Some of the most admirable people I know have made major mistakes in the past, and worked hard to overcome them. I think they’re better people for it.
I was once told, your gut reaction and first impulse is your upbringing and conditioning. It’s your reasoned, critical response that makes you who you are.
I have had similar questions about myself recently and this advice helped me to analyse my thinking without getting caught up in guilt.
I secretly feel apprehensive around white strangers, because I often get a vibe of entitled duplicity and barely contained violence. I’m white.
ETA I’m completely at ease around all other races.
I don’t think I’m racist as much as prejudiced. Not sure that’s any better…
If I’m in close quarters with a black guy, as a white guy I’m fine unless he’s dressed in a way that gives off a “hard ass” vibe. But the same exact thing goes for a white guy, or anyone else. If I’m in close quarters with anyone wearing the whole saggy pants and exposed boxers, tank top, and tons of tattoos I start getting concerned that making any eye contact will set them off on some “what are you lookin at?” b.s. typical of someone who just wants to get into a fight.
Other than that I’m comfortable with anyone.
There is nothing wrong with being prejudice, its a safety mechanism. Every one puts up a guard toward someone who might cause them harm. Its better to be safe than sorry.
It’s complicated. It’s understandable to view internal prejudices as racist when they make your heart rate spike just from being flanked by black folks. That’s absolutely profiling and assuming danger based on skin color. Same goes for seeing a white Lady with a black man and assuming she might be in danger. That’s not just racist, that’s a bit sexist as well.
These types of profiling are happening by us all the time, and I think they’re actually a vital heuristic in how we socialize. We just need to introspect as you’ve done to figure out how much they are helpful to ourselves and how much they are harmful to others.
Think of the case of seeing a child unattended. Sure, the kid could be fine, completely competent at navigating around town by themselves. That does not mean that you check yourself regarding the bad vibes you get from it. You check on the kid.
We also constantly use these heuristics to avoid bad situations, where we suspect maybe a mugging, maybe scam, or something else. We simply don’t know and we use different types of profiling to keep ourselves safe. We’ve just also been wrongly taught that race has some bearing on our safety when it doesn’t.
Alot of folks also have bad profiling practices when it comes to poverty and homelessness, and that’s gotta be addressed too.
What’s your favourite shoe size?
Orange.
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No. While there might be some correlation to physical ability and intelligience to ethnic origins and genome, I’ve seen enough limp dumb assholes come from pedigrees to know racism is bullshit.
Furthermore I’m a strong believer that despite any cultural origin that people can do good and be good in the correct circumstances and opportunities.
You lost me at, “While there might be some correlation to physical ability and intelligience to ethnic origins and genome.”
You should give the rest a read some time.
You mean the bit that seems to subtly imply that some people have to rise above their inherited racial disabilities?
He technically is only talking about correlation, not causation. He’s also technically not blaming it on their race.
It’s often found that black-majority neighbourhoods in the US do worse on IQ tests. But that’s due to a lack of investment in education in those areas as a result of systemic racism, not because of a racial “disability”. There’s a correlation but no causation.
And it’s no secret some people do slightly better or worse in some areas. It’s obviously not true that any biological differences end at the skin colour. Just look at the overrepresentation of east Africans in endurance running for example. The important part however is that those differences are just that: differences. It doesn’t make anyone a better person that anyone else.
Listen, we may not like it but Kenya has had gold medalists at the Olympics every year since 1980 where they were absent, and they’re increasingly emigrating to compete on other nation’s behalf. Yeah, genetics has a barely measurable effect on your capability in some arbitrary field, deal with it.
Holy shit you sound like a member of the rich white family from Get Out who were body snatching black people for the “advantages.” Living out in the country I usually only see the loud and ugly kind of racism, but your kind of racism gives me the creeps.
So you don’t believe in genetics?
Let me spell something out to you, the villains in Get Out decided by themselves that they were mentally superior to the fast runners and that they should get to decide how other human beings live or die.
That’s a long fucking shot from me admitting the proven fact that Tibetans have, on average, larger lung capacity.
Now you’re subtly implying transference.
I’m being completely open and honest about all of my beliefs, they one using vague or subtle language is you.
😂
Well at least you’re halfway there
I’d say I’m all the way there. I treat people amiccably and with respect as equals.
If you’re not where I am it sounds like you’ve got some issues to work out.
He did it! He solved racism! Good job, buddy!
Thanks, I only wish more people could accomplish it.
We’re all envious of how you’re not rude to people in spite of their clear deficiencies.
Dude had a valid point on how our human species works. We are not created equal. Evolution just works like that. It carrys no negative or positive meaning. You just accept people who they are and at the same time dont push expectations onto others because its what you think they are.
That’s racist af, you don’t get to judge that people have deficiencies based on their race.
We know, which is how we know you’re a big ol’ racist when you said that.
