I got told shit like “you’re getting a free vacation” and “how many opportunities like this are you going to get” and “we tried our best to accommodate you.”

“Yes, and it must really not be our thing if we are saying no to all of that.”

Sometimes you need to pick a position and dig in your heels. Even when they start pushing and you start doubting yourself you can remember that you already made your choice…but not so easy when something is just suddenly thrown at you and you don’t get an opportunity to think on it first.

A lot of the experiences you described sound a lot like stuff I deal with. Have you ever been tested for autism?

Someday in the future, someone will try to pressure you into another cruise, saying that you didn’t have fun because you didn’t go with the “right” people, didn’t do the “right” things or go to the “right” locations, etc. It’ll be up to you to decide what to say to them.

This sort of thing may be the ultimate fun time for them, and they may have just wanted to give you what they see as the ultimate fun time, but it’s not that for you. It’s okay that different people like different recreational things, and sometimes people with their hearts in the right place still need to be reminded of that fact. So, you can be gracious about the gift but keep this writeup.

When this is over, you can politely thank your parents for the gift and say no more if you want. But if they press the issue and genuinely want to know how you felt about it, if they really want you to be honest, you could tell them what you’ve just told us. If in the future they invite you to another cruise and give you any guff about taking no for an answer, tell them what you told us. You can still express gratitude that they gave you the chance to give this a fair shake, and politely decline repeating the experience. “I tried and it’s just not for me” is a valid takeaway from this, both for you and for them.

This fits into the larger umbrella of parents giving their children things the parents believe their children should want, rather than things that are actually wanted or needed.

My sister is gay and prefers pants and “men’s” shirts. For years my mom would by my sister dresses and then lay down a guilt trip when my sister didn’t wear the dresses.

OP, you have every right to resent this. It sounds like your parents “invited” you because they already planned to have your brother along. They may have even been going for a bulk deal.

But hey, at least you tried. You said it was 4 days. At least it wasnt one of those 2 weeks cruises.

You gave it a genuine try and genuinely didnt like it. Tag it as another experience in life you learn from. And thats about it. Next time they invite you just say you tried and you prefer doing something else.

You can also try to invite them for some activity you like for the next vacation.

The library is usually empty. Most bar also close from time to time, so you can go sit there, read a book, watch a movie, play a game on your computer, or whatever activity you enjoy. And be alone for hours.

Running, walking on the threadmill while watching the sea is great, and the sport salle is never full… the sauna, not so sure.

Go explore the working quarter on the under belly of the beast. Most people will assume you’re just some family member of a worker and let you roam and get lost all you want.

Remember the food is good, and you will never sleep as well (or as bad, if it is not your stuff) as on a large ship cruising slowly on the ocean

Your parents spend lot of money, just so you can enjoy something they find very enjoyable. It can not be your stuff, but they care about you

At least you went, my guy. You can, without a doubt, say “that’s not a thing I like”. I have never done a cruise because I don’t think I would like them, and don’t want to be stuck in a boat for 3 more days after I find that out. Will I miss out on cruises? Probably not. Will I talk myself out of other things I might have actually enjoyed? Almost certainly.

It’s important to push boundaries and try new things, but it’s important-er to learn from those experiences and grow, even if the only “growth” you get here is the confirmation that trying a new thing might suck, but won’t kill you.

I was in a very similar situation, grandpa paid for whole family to go to Alaska. I had been having a rought time with depression and this cruise didn’t help, but I told him I had a great time. He nearly cried he was so happy to hear it. I hated it and would never go again, but he spent the rest of his life having this untainted memory of the whole family, me included. Just make it clear that as “fun” as this trip was, you’d never do it again. Glad to do it once, kind of thing. You can set the boundary while still preserving a special moment in their memories. That’s how you show appreciation for the gesture.

It might be a bit late for you now, but when everyone else is in port, that’s the best time to be on the ship.

Get yourself to one of the open decks with some food and a drink, and appreciate the lack of any queues. Get a chair next to the pool and chill out for a while. Take some photos of the views that you wouldn’t otherwise see.

In short, try to make the most of it while you’re stuck there, and enjoy the quiet time :)

Some people in the comments are missing the point. You didn’t want something. You told your parents you and your partner didn’t want it. You were given and pressured into it regardless.

Do not feel awful for not appreciating it. It doesn’t matter why you don’t. Your parents have ignored you completely. Not just you on the cruise, but your wishes in the first place. It doesn’t matter how nice Cozumel is. If you are stressed out from the cruise experience to start with, you won’t be in the mind space to enjoy something else you might have if you were visiting it normally.

OP, this is not your fault. You have every right to feel angry. You were left out in many ways and guilted into feeling bad about yourself for not enjoying something you upfront said you didn’t want.

I hope this gives you the ability to stand your ground in the future. Sure, it can be nice to experience new things and find out you like something you never thought you would. But that’s up to you to decide. Whether its about a cruise or something else, only you and your partner should make that decision for yourselves. I hope you call your parents out on this, but if you don’t, I hope you can always say “no” without buckling in the future.

Even though you could have…

Been consulted on your preferences Been having a better time in a foreign environment Been whatever

Now you had first hand experience and first hand answers of what you think. It was 4 days of your life, and it will let you focus and drive away several future conversations.

Sometimes we do things for us and that’s fine, and sometimes we do things to make other people happy. Be sure you and your folks understand your thoughts on what cruises mean for each of you. And why not, be mindfull that some experiences are better suited for different phases in life, and perhaps your preferences change over time.

As long as you and your partner are very very clear on each other expectations, you can manage whatever 3rd parties throw at you.

This sucks. I hope you find your peaceful place on board. If you switch your hours and become night owls for the remaining days that might help. Cruise ships at 4am are different to cruise ships at 4pm.

Your story put me in mind of my MIL and shrimps. She loves shrimps and thinks they’re fancy. Anytime she makes them for a family gathering she spends a great deal of time encouraging me to try them, and after the third or forth request I always do, and I always find the texture disgusting, I always say “the seasoning is lovely, I just really hate the texture of shrimp,” and she’s always so surprised that I don’t like her shrimp. Your parents love cruises so much they can’t imagine that anyone wouldn’t. And I don’t know the solution because pretending to be willing to try a sea insect is a much smaller commitment than four days on a boat. However, if they do keep insisting that you repeat this experience see if you can pay the difference and get a balcony. Maybe see if they have this option for the remaining time this cruise.

I live in a cruise tourist city and there’s no fuckin way I’m ever stepping foot on one of those boats. People who go on cruises are not humanity’s finest examples to say the least. When a cruise ship is docked here I simply avoid going downtown.

Cruises usually suck, but if you can get out and it’s still like this (we’re talking almost 40 years ago)- We went to Cozumel as part of a vacation across the Yúcatan when I was a 12 or so and went snorkling over the coral reef. I remember various things about that vacation, good and bad, but what sticks with me most all these decades later was what I saw on that reef. Do treat yourself to that experience if it’s one you can still have.

I took my wife on a cruise even though they aren’t really my thing. The thing about cruises is you sort of have to lean into them. If you want to do much at the ports of call you need to plan ahead and typically book the excursions they offer. If you want to just chill, then you can view the ship as basically a floating all you can eat buffet with 24/7 self serve soft serve.

My wife and I both enjoyed the excursions (horse back riding, kayaking, dinners) we also just read in the sun on the decks and went for the couples massage (highly recommended).

It sounds like you might not be big into traveling, and hey, that’s ok. It’s ok to spend time in the cabin, it’s ok to read in the sun, and you don’t have to hang with the crowds or get drunk. Give yourself permission to enjoy what you enjoy and avoid what you don’t.

If you do have the money I would suggest booking one of the paid dinners they usually offer and doing a couple massage. Those are usually quiet and relaxing. Likewise, find out of the way spots on deck and just chill away from the noise.

If nothing else you can view this as a great learning experience both in figuring out what you do and don’t like, and in seeing and sticking firm to boundaries with family.

Best of luck!

Edited to add: that sucks about feeling left out. I suspect some of it is your parents focusing on the grandkids. It could also be they picked up on some of your anxiety and have been giving you space. Either way, of you want to go with them, when they say hey went to senor frogs, reply awesome, let me know next time you head out and I’ll come. One thing I learned in life is if you always decline invites, eventually you stop being invited. So, invite your self if you want that to change.

Best regards!