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Almost every live action adaptation of any classic animated movie.
Avatar. Good Lord what bad acting and visual dynamics will do for a movie.
Once upon a time in Hollywood.
Closely followed by anything that’s self-jerking Hollywood’s ego. I’m looking at you too La La Land!
I couldn’t get into any of the LOTR movies. I like fantasy, I like adventure, I like fighting, but those films are boring as hell to me.
I know this is heresy but any Godfather movie, or the Sopranos, or anything that romanticizes the fucking mafia. To me organized crime characters are pieces of shit I can’t admire or relate to. The only movie that ever made me root for gangster types was Pulp Fiction, which is a masterpiece.
Avengers. Any of them, probably.
Everything Disney did with Star Wars
Uwe Boll’s “Alone in the dark”
I rented that movie, and it was so bad that half way through it I turned it off. When I went back to the rental store they offered me my money back.
I said no. Because some lessons have to be painful in order to learn from them.
Eternal Sunshine if a Spotless Mind has such good reviews and people speak fondly of it online. I hated it, just thought both characters were insufferable, and there was nothing remotely romantic about it. Felt like I was trapped in the bad relationship with them.
If The Sopranos was boring, what you’d get is The Godfather. It’s boring. And it insists upon itself.
BladeRunner - is like they wrote the screenplay based on the excellent source novel, then cut most of the ideas out, leaving only things that make no sense. Rick Deckard is a terrible detective, and only wins the final confrontation because Roy Batty… just gives up? I recently decided that my teenage self might have been wrong and rewatched it… nah, still terrible.
The directors cut/final cut does improve the plot line but admittedly the original movie is more vibes than substance. I think a lot of the “neo-tokyo” cyberpunk aesthetic we take for granted had tropes which originated in this film.
Super Mario Bros (1993) - it is just horrible, the only good thing about the movie is that it has a practical Yoshi puppet.
Honestly, any of the Monty Python movies. I know people love them, and they have a few funny jokes. But man are they ever drab, I just can’t get into them.
Oppenheimer.
3 hrs of nausea-inducing quick cuts
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
Absolute snoozefest with possibly the worst cast leads in modern history.
