• Lux (it/they)
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    43 months ago

    Homophobia

    I was raised in a right wing, rural area, and i didn’t meet a gay person til higschool. When he said he was gay, i assumed he was joking.

    Im trans now lol

      • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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        03 months ago

        if my grandma were to be believed my dad’s babysitter when he was 4 years old infected him with homosexuality then he passed it onto his children because one (me) is trans and the other is bisexual

        She’s not very harmful about it but is just really damn confused lol

        • @stelelor@lemmy.ca
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          03 months ago

          So if I get this right, your dad turned homosexual from his babysitter… Then proceeded to have two, presumably biologic, kids?

          • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            presumably biologic kids

            Yeah, my dad fell for the “get a woman to protect you from same sex attraction” propaganda. Over the years he changed his mind and learned that it’s not something to be ashamed of, but he was in a relationship with kids now.

            when I came out and my mom was very verbally abusive he kinda had the realization that the relationship wasn’t benefiting the children either. Also my mom was very very controlling over who he could talk to/make friends with.

            He is currently in the process of a divorce after 22 years and is coming to terms with how he let fear control his life for that long.

            It’s kinda sad.

      • Scrubbles
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        13 months ago

        There’s a reason cities are more liberal. Turns out being surrounded by different cultures, races, sexualities, and beliefs shows you that maybe they’re not so different. In a town of 15k middle American white folks, it’s hard to see another culture equally, let alone at all.

        Same thing with college. There’s no such thing as a liberal or democratic college. It’s just that people are simply surrounded by other people. You learn all of those weird rules and things you were taught don’t actually hold up, and that everyone is kind of the same

  • @jpreston2005@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I don’t know if this counts, but when I was little I’d go to friends houses, then later in high school to my first serious girlfriends house, and I remember their families were like… loving? I loved spending time at my girlfriends house especially, hanging out with her Mom and her Dad even if my gf wasn’t there. They were so nice, and you could tell had genuine affection for their children (and to some degree, me). I miss you Mr. and Mrs. Miller!

    • @shalafi@lemmy.world
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      13 months ago

      That’s me. I had no idea other families were affectionate and said crazy stuff like, “I love you.” My god, they even hug.

      To this day I struggle with affection, even though I love it. If you touch me unexpectedly I’ll involuntarily flinch. I don’t mind, at all, but I still jerk and can’t help it.

      • Ziglin (it/they)
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        13 months ago

        I think my family was the same but I turned out cuddly, maybe the difference was the cats?

  • themeatbridge
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    33 months ago

    Knee pain. Everyone told me it was normal growing pains, until one little league coach notice I run weird. Queue years of doctors and specialists and tests and scans and surgeries, and now I’m a 40 something guy with advanced arthritis that could have been much much worse if left untreated.

  • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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    33 months ago

    Also: aphantasia

    You have no idea how pissed I was to find out all of you had a fucking superpower, would have been nice to learn this before I wasted 3 years at graphic design

  • @superkret@feddit.org
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    23 months ago

    Getting locked in the basement without water, or thrown out into the streets for half a day, when you misbehaved as a child.

    • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      -13 months ago

      I mean, yeah? Is that really so bad. I guess it depends what the intent was. The town I grew up in was pretty tame, and the room I’d get locked in without food or water if I’d misbehaved had books

      • @MoonlightFox@lemmy.world
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        33 months ago

        I was locked outside of the house for long periods of time and had to drink from the garden hose / garden faucet, and pee in the bushes. We also had like 10+ apple trees. It wasn’t that bad. A bit boring sometimes.

        But that’s because it was outside and I could get my needs covered and meet friends.

        Locked inside without these needs covered for extended periods is a lot worse in my opinion. Even cats and dogs have those needs covered.

        It’s also about the lack of freedom when locked inside.

        I would not treat my own children like I was treated, and especially not like you were.

        • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          3 months ago

          Yeah, I just remember it being boring too. I’m also not really a person who can’t go a few hours without water, so I never felt I was being neglected.

          I dont think I’d lock my kid indoors, but I do admit that when it happened to me after I’d been fighting my siblings or something, it was just treated as a time where I would chill out and read a book to wind down. Once dinner was ready, I’d get called for dinner, and everything seemed normal.

          So I’d probably try to create a cool down zone with my kids if I ever have them, maybe a comfy chair they’re not allowed to leave for a few hours?

          • @Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world
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            13 months ago

            Children (humans) should always have access to clean water. That is not normal in the slightest. A time out shouldn’t include torture.

  • @notanapple@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    Having a constant noise in your head/ears. It was so normal to me I didnt question it for many years. I randomly asked my friends about it one day and found out most people actually dont have an old crt tv like noise in their ears (and that its the disorder tinnitus).

    In my case its not very severe thankfully, I dont notice it unless Im in a silent room or Im actively thinking about it.

  • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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    23 months ago

    Oh plenty of things:

    having respect for others

    being honest

    helping the needy

    fair pay for fair work

    honestly considering others’ perspectives

    loyalty

    Basically every virtue I was ever told was worthy to embody has been used against me as a weapon or a tool

    And of the hundreds of people I know IRL less than 10% give any of these internal value or even attempted to put into practice

    And here I’ve been a sucker all my life doing the proper social contract thing because I don’t like the way the world is shaping up and getting CONSTANTLY bent over for it

  • SharkEatingBreakfast
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    23 months ago

    Excruciating period pain that would leave me fainting and vomiting every. Single. Time.

    “Every girl goes through this” said the doctor, convincing my parents that I was just “dramatic”.

    Turns out I had huge polyps growing out of control! Left scarring in my uterus and high-risk when pregnant.

    Dealt with that hell every fucking month since I was 11 until I got onto birth control in my 20s.

    • @dmention7@lemm.ee
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      23 months ago

      My wife went through something similar. Took until she was in her 30s and we were pursuing IVF for someone to take her seriously and actually do the investigation to realize she had crazy scarring from endometriosis causing all kinds of issues.

      It’s insane to me how much the modern medical community seems to normalize or straight up ignore this shit, like you said.

      I realize we could have pushed harder, but when multiple doctors tell you “yeah, some women just experience periods differently, here’s 500mg Naproxen to help you through” you tend to believe it.

    • @Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world
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      13 months ago

      Poor you! It must have been terribly frustrating that the doctor wouldn’t take you seriously. Seems to be a frequent thing women go through in the medical world. Hope you’re okay now.

      • SharkEatingBreakfast
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        13 months ago

        It’s barbaric. They assume that if you’re girl/woman, most problems are basically “female hysteria”!

        Not even “it could be [blank], you might want to keep an eye on that and report back if it doesn’t go away.” Nope! Diagnosis: dramatic.

        And women die from this shit. Or become disabled / handicapped. Or it affects their long-term future if they want children. It’s awful.

        • Log in | Sign up
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          03 months ago

          Some people did a thing with a specially configured tens machine where the woman would turn it the levels up and up until it was at the level of their normal period pain and then the man would go through the same levels stages and be gasping and writhing before it got there.

          Turns out men have been massively underestimating period pain for centuries.

          That said, some women experienced far, far higher levels than normal and were encouraged to take that data to a non-dismissive healthcare professional.

          • @conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            As a dude, I want to believe that it’s less than it is because that’s just wholly unreasonable that women have to put up with that.

            • Log in | Sign up
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              13 months ago

              They’re were a lot of men who insisted on immediate medical attention who got told that their partners had tried that and absolutely nothing would come of it.

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️
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    3 months ago

    Reading.

    Or rather, how so many people seem fear and avoid it, or can’t do it. Something like 21% of adults in the US are illiterate, and the majority – 54% – read at or below a 6th grade level.

    I’ve been a sight reader probably since I was about six years old. I absolutely cannot look at any words legibly written in my native language and not understand them. You couldn’t force me to look at words written in English and not digest them if you held a gun to my head. I fear no wall of text, no matter how tall it is.

    It takes some effort to wrap your head around the notion that not only can most people not do this, but statistically speaking most or at least a plurality of people have to struggle or exert conscious effort to read and many of them are loathe to do so. And roughly one in five people simply can’t. This did not sink in for me when I was younger.

    I can’t imagine having to live my life that way. You nerds have seen how much bullshit I write in a day; I’d go absolutely bats.

    • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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      23 months ago

      As a kid I kept asking librarians why libraries were so empty of people if they had so many books and it took me years to understand the sadness in her shrug.

  • @Nangijala@feddit.dk
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    13 months ago

    Having near constant racing thoughts and always feeling like you have to work on something and if you don’t it makes you anxious. I thought my boyfriend was the alien for being able to not think about anything at all and just chill and do nothing.

    • 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
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      3 months ago

      Ah good ole ADHD. I have a love hate relationship with mine. We’re on speaking terms.

      I like to describe it as being simultaneously bored and overstimulated (tbf that’s also how I describe ADHD sex)

      • @Nangijala@feddit.dk
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        13 months ago

        Irony is, that I’m not diagnosed so officially I’m just someone with racing thoughts and a restless soul.

  • Horsey
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    3 months ago

    Child abuse. I thought it was normal to threaten children with violence for noncompliance. I thought it was normal to be afraid to misbehave or be suboptimal in school at the threat of violence.

  • @swelter_spark@reddthat.com
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    13 months ago

    I grew up thinking it was normal for grown men to be attracted to little girls. My mother had a habit of pointing out random men who just happened to be around and telling me they were staring at me/thinking about how beautiful I was/in love with my/trying to look up my skirt. The way she talked about it made it seem like it was a common, acceptable thing.

    • @dumblederp@aussie.zone
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      33 months ago

      As a man, I was worried about that growing up, but the women I’m attracted to has aged with me. I’m friends with some women under 30 from the dog park, and I can appreciate they’re pretty but they also look like kids. I hope they meet nice guys around their age.

      • @swelter_spark@reddthat.com
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        23 months ago

        I really wonder where they got this from! Strangely enough, when I was a teen and actually starting to get inappropriate attention from men, she would never believe that it happened.

    • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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      03 months ago

      holy crap I hope you got out of that situation quick, this should NOT be normalized

      My heart breaks for you in this

      • @swelter_spark@reddthat.com
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        23 months ago

        I distanced myself from her after college. Her behavior was unacceptable in a lot of ways, and she wasn’t willing to change. Thanks for the kind words.