Congress and the judicial branch have fast tracked themselves on a course to redundancy for the past 85 days.

Raw irritated penis

I can tell when the batteries on my cordless mouse have died. There’s a strange feeling of resistance when the mouse is active, but when it’s dead, nothing.

I’ve been saying this for months. How long until 47 “has a stroke.”

So a shitgun instead of a poostol.

Remember when Idiocracy was a farce instead of a documentary?

Doppler effect.

With reddit eating X’s ass on the highway to insignificance.

I have revived multiple computers and my mom’s windshield wipers with concussive application of a rubber chicken.

I was just thinking earlier today that I miss Tim Walz. Walz 2028!

Diesel too?

My cat is obsessed with my socks. If a load of clean laundry has been left too long before it gets folded and put away, my socks will be scattered throughout the house.

Did both parties involved in the transaction get fired?

As are pretzel buns.