It’s frustrating being the guy pulling his hair out freaking out over things. When people look at you they see a tin foil hat man, but you know how it works.

A few tips to better avoid the tinfoil hat-similarities:

Break up your text into more easily digested paragraphs. One chunk of text like this just seems rambling regardless of how poignant it might be.

Stick to one topic, or make the transition from one topic to another make sense. Going from spying cars, to a whole country collecting DNA through pee samples, to corporations are gangs, to fascist world order, to intelligence agencies collect child porn, to not wanting subscriptions in tech, while sprinkling in the Wizard of Oz at random times (in a more thought-out text it could be a powerful comparison to explain the issue or tie in to a red thread, but not just by mentioning the name and moving on)… It gets quite similar to the speech patterns of someone with untreated schizophrenia.

Clarify why you are making a claim. For example the one about intelligence agencies having lots of child porn: Is it a good or a bad thing? Why do they have it? And how does it relate to the topic of seniors issues with tech, or mass surveillance through phones?

Share your sources, especially for the lesser known claims. Put the relevant links at the end of each paragraph so it’s clear what each link refers to and it’s address.

I didn’t get a degree until my thirties, once I got diagnosed and figured out my needs.

For me it was:

1. Accomodations,

2. Meds,

3. Moving a lot,

4. Low music with a predictable beat and no vocals,

5. Accountability checks (showing up for every lectures or partnering/grouping up for every assignment),

6. Active participation,

7. Learning by doing, and

8. Learning by talking.

9. For maths (the bane of my existence, but soooo satisfying once you get it!) I also got to do the exams in a separate room with headphones on, and could take breaks to run around the building or up and down the stairs a few times whenever I needed to restart my brain. Plus extra time to account for those breaks and the mental breakdowns that preceded them.

10. Meds are essential for me, but they can make me miss cues from my body. So it’s important to manage my body’s needs like clockwork while on them, regardless of what I feel like I can do or do without in the moment: eat breakfast and lunch and an afternoon snack/mini-meal to avoid emotional outbursts or binge eating when the meds wear off. Take breaks (just stepping out or standing by an open window to breathe, or set an alarm and lie down with legs up and closed eyes) for a few min every hour. Go to the bathroom. Drink water. Blink. Do not put in overtime to “only” solve/finish this one thing -that thing won’t get solved until you have a shower or talk to another human. Overtime/cramming will not be efficient studying, the goal is not just passing one test and forgetting, but actually learning and understanding…and resting is an essential component of that.

11. Listening to online lectures (or even worse, pre-recorded one’s) was impossible until I got a walking pad, and it made writing assignments and at home-tests way easier. For on campus-days I’d run up and down the stairs during every break in or between lectures (most teachers would do breaks every hour but if not I would just ask them for it). Blood flow through legs means blood flow to brain!

12. Low music without vocals with a good chill beat fill the silence when people are talking too slow and keeps me on track when it gets boring, without stealing attention or focus by being too loud or interesting.

13. With daily lectures I got a schedule and routine, which got me up and started in the morning and left a suitable time slot for lunch (missing lunch is a big no-no!). While doing assignments with someone else it was a lot easier to get started (I’m great at filling uncomfortable silences that happens when no-one know where to begin) and organise and section off the work into manageable parts, while having someone else to take charge of those last 5% that I seem unable to do.

14. I need to take plenty of notes during lectures (might never read them again, but just the motion of writing the words help my listening and retention). I also always ask as soon as I get lost or have a relevant question, and attempt to answer any questions during (even if I get it wrong) a class. If I think my question will get answered I’ll write it down and ask them at the end if I’m still unsure. If I don’t do this, I’ll get stuck on something in my mind and stop following along.

15. I chose a school with a lot of practical learning built into the education. Lots of practical assignments, internship opportunities etc.

16. Our brains are evolved for conversation, language and communication. When getting stuck, I usually need a break… But if the break doesn’t solve it, explaining the difficult thing to someone else will often make me figure it out by the time I’ve finished talking. If not the other person might have an idea for how to think and move forward. Asking questions, explaining complex concepts to each other, bouncing ideas, telling stories are all great tools for learning and more importantly gaining understanding of a topic.

Good luck, and if you managed to read all this: you’re gonna be fine!

I’m excited-to-weave-my-own-rug-old.

Luckily it pairs well with being excited-to-weave-my-own-rug-poor.

You can absolutely get excited about a soft luxurious rug curling between your toes and keeping you warm and silent on a cold nights excursion to the bathroom, compared to the wide-awakening shock of a cold floor or even an uninviting prickly gross old rug. Decoration is a bonus.

Cheap trash earplugs at concerts.

Nowadays I have a good pair that I bring with me, but if the foamy yellow ones are the only ones available I’ll buy them and within minutes pull them out to be able to hear anything except the person behind me butchering the lyrics straight into my ear.

This way I can hear the music at the concert, and my worsening tinnitus the rest of my life. Win win.

I visualized “try” as watching a young child climb something that might be out of their comfort zone, so you’re letting them, but stay ready to “catch” them if something goes wrong. I suppose “throw” would be if they soiled themselves in their fall, you can throw them back into the arms of their loving parent for cleaning.

But fuck_around, find_out and yeet would be fantastic.

Try not to “blame” the baby for why she can’t keep her old life - it’s hard enough having your family dynamics change so massively going from solo child to having a baby sibling, having it be extra tumultuous because of the baby can really strain their early relationship and be a bigger risk of her acting out or regressing to get her old life back. So you’re not staying here because of the baby; you’re here because you and mom decided it would be nice to have an extra long vacation and be near the hospital.

I’ve never heard a woman complain or be confused about not being asked out by strangers.

It seems like your sources are a fair step into the manosphere, and you and your sons would have a lot to gain by distancing yourself from that kind of influence. Nothing is as unattractive as bitterness, and you are sounding dangerously close to bitter here, and your attitude will influence your sons approach to life and relationships.

I want to see my planted apple tree bear fruit for the first time (it’s looking good this year so far!), and then I want to try splicing in a branch of my neighbours cherry tree, and then I want to keep building gradually to have a mutant tree with all kinds of fruit throughout the season. I’ll be the creator of my own Tree of Life.

Small goals, small joys, small triumphs - it’s what’ll make my life grand, I believe.

This may sound silly, but it happens to me more often than not that I forget the simplest solution when I wake up from pain: Did you take pain relief medication and wait 30-60 min before giving up on sleep?

The real horror is that the person panics when they can’t find their phone. They are just chilling at home, they know the phone is somewhere in the home, they don’t need it right now and they don’t have to leave anywhere.

The phone will turn up. It’s just a gadget, you won’t miss it if it’s gone for an hour or so.

(I may be jaded from misplacing stuff so frequently)

Spiders.

They protect my plants from gnats and hide out during the day to not disturb or frighten me. Best roommates I’ve ever had.

It’s crazy. My short stint working in child care I would always call the male parent first if I had their contacts, but it seems deeply ingrained in people to consider a mother “parent” and father “helper”.

Maybe they’d be more comfortable calling you if you called them every day “just to check up, to see how the kid is doing”, making it abundantly (and annoyingly) clear that you have nothing but time for your kid. And encourage your wife to respond “Have you called the primary contact?” whenever someone calls her.

I only have my own phone calendar, no shared alternatives unfortunately, but there is a multitude of options when you search for “family calendars”. Or create a personal calendar for your child with both of you having the password and colour code it for who is responsible for each entry.

Of course. I was focusing on the doing or recieving part and completely missed the second part: Are you a botherer and bothered OF/BY or ABOUT god?

It can be either one, so I’d say it depends on how religious and/or deranged the speaker is. Like you said - most would say it’s about god, while I was deranged enough to interpret it as being a direct communication with a god.

Hmm. Probably no one.

Small amounts are weird to need “no questions asked” and large amounts are too large to give away “no questions asked”. Partly for me financially, but mostly because there is a not insignificant risk of overdose if you give out large sums of money to someone being cagey about why they need it.

If they can’t tell me what a significant amount of money is for, it’s probably because it’s something I don’t want my money to go to, so I’m not inclined to agree under those premises.

At the least I would need a very good reason for why I can’t ask questions (“I’m preparing to vacation as a fugitive, and don’t want you to have to testify”), but by then there is no longer no questions asked…

Talk through how you want to deal with this in your family, but here are some suggestions:

Give daycare, pediatrics, classmates parents, and family and friends your contact info and instruct them to call you first hand for appointments, meetings or emergencies. Don’t ignore calls from babysitters, daycare or medical staff regardless of how important your current meeting is. You’re the primary contact.

A lot of them will still probably call your wife first no matter how hard you enforce this, so enforcing this will split the burden and responsibility.

Make sure you know your child’s SSN, birthday, allergies, sizes, current number of socks, favourite toys, and teachers and friends. Dress them for the weather they will be in throughout the day, and always pack extra because they will get wet or dirty or lose stuff.

Keep a family calendar where you can see appointments, and make sure to take a majority of those appointments if possible (plenty of responsibility will be pushed onto your wife regardless).

Add playmates and family members birthdays and other events to the calendar, and go shopping for gifts at least a few weeks before, without being prompted by anything other than the calendar. Wrap the gifts yourself or pay for wrapping at the store.

Let your wife know (or maybe add a checkbox to the calendar and check it off when the preparations are done) that it’s taken care of if it’s a shared task, but don’t bother her with it if it’s your specific job - that’s your responsibility and nothing she needs to keep in mind at all.

Keep count of diapers and socks and formula etc, and buy new (in the right size) without being prompted. You don’t need instructions for every little thing regarding your own child, you can take responsibility without being given it.

Everyone I would give my money to would give that reason unprompted so I wouldn’t have to ask.

Except kids, they might ask just to see if it works, and then I would ask to know what for.

I don’t think I’ve ever been asked to give away something without being offered a reason, actually…

It depends on if the subject of the sentence (the person) is doing the thing (being active) or having the thing done to them (being passive). Think like this:

A helper (help-ER) is someone who is helping/doing the help. A caller (call-ER) is calling someone else. A botherer (bother-ER) is someone who is doing the bothering.

Someone who is recieving bother is being bothered (bother-ED), one who is getting help is being helped (help-ED), or getting calls is being called (call-ED).

God-botherer is someone who is god-bothering (bothering god). God-bothered is someone being bothered by god.

What’s the point of voting if one vote can completely invalidate the massive majoritys vote?

Sleep mask covering my eyes. My chambers may be flooded with light to chase away the ghouls of darkness, yet not a hint of light will reach my vision to disturb my slumber.

Also the tightness feels kinda comforting, and I’ve started to associate it with good sleep and fall asleep faster now because of it

Ps. And no energy drink, coffee or caffeinated or sugary soda past 16.