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Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them] to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish • 23 days ago

U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat

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theonion.com

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  • cross-posted to:
  • theonion@midwest.social
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U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat

lock

theonion.com

Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them] to chapotraphouse@hexbear.netEnglish • 23 days ago
message-square
94
fedilink
  • cross-posted to:
  • theonion@midwest.social
WASHINGTON—In a move that significantly restricts the eligibility of thousands of American troops to fight for their country on the front lines, senior U.S. military officials announced Wednesday that all men with girl names would now be forbidden from serving in combat roles. The ban, which goes into effect immediately, prohibits male personnel with clearly […]
  • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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    10•23 days ago

    so it’s literally fake news?

    • Rom [he/him]
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      13•23 days ago

      No, it’s satire. It’s not trying to fool anyone.

      • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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        8•23 days ago

        when i pick up a print onion i know what it is, and I am seeking it out. when someone posts an onion headline with no context i get the same WTF moment as malicious fake news and have to do extra work to determine that it is fake.

        the intent of the newspaper is not the intent of the poster is not the effect on the browser.

        • Rom [he/him]
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          10•
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          23 days ago

          If clicking the link to load the article is too much work then just block the comm and move on with your life. This isn’t a serious comm and Onion articles get posted here all the time.

          • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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            9•23 days ago

            it’s two clicks because clicking on the post loads the thread and then i have to load the article.

            i block fake news I shouldn’t have to block multiple comms for the same bullshit.

            • Rom [he/him]
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              11•
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              23 days ago

              I don’t know about mobile apps but on desktop clicking the thumbnail opens the link directly with one click.

              I don’t blame you for falling for the headline, “U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat” isn’t that far removed from reality. But banning all Onion articles (which get posted here all the time without any complaints) because you fell for one and got mad about it is silly.

            • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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              6•23 days ago

              The Onion has been posted to this comm dozens of times in the past without any whinging. What is in the water today?

        • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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          5•23 days ago

          the extra work of one mouse click

          There’s no such thing as print newspapers anymore, less than 0.0001% of the Onion’s readership is from physical media most likely, it’s all digital

          • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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            10•23 days ago

            poster should just put Onion: [headline text] in the title

            and it’s two clicks because i load into a thread i wasn’t going to click on if i knew it was fake

            • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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              4•
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              23 days ago

              Damn two clicks?!?!

              The whinging you’ve done in this thread is enough work to sift through around 250 onion articles!

              Adding “Onion:” to the headline is 6 clicks. You’re asking me to do triple your work??!

              • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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                8•23 days ago

                the poster does it once, everybody comes by on the site has to do it individually, that’s way more total work just for you to be a lazy asshole.

                • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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                  2•23 days ago

                  The only lazy people are those who cannot read articles

                  • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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                    9•23 days ago

                    i would have not clicked into the thread if it said onion on it

                    PIGPOOPBALLS

              • OldSoulHippie [he/him]
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                1•22 days ago

                Removed by mod

          • OldSoulHippie [he/him]
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            5•22 days ago

            Not everyone has good Internet. What do you get out of this? Can’t we just categorize stuff?

            If a friend asked you to you would

    • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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      12•23 days ago

      it’s the fucking onion. grow up

      • Dessa [she/her]
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        15•23 days ago

        So it’s literally fake news?

        • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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          9•23 days ago

          no it’s the onion, a satirical leftist paper that is the source of 90% of the emojis on this website

          • Dessa [she/her]
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            12•23 days ago

            No? It’s not fake news?

            • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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              7•23 days ago

              no, it’s the onion, a satirical leftist paper

              • Damarcusart [he/him, comrade/them]
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                8•
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                23 days ago

                Leftist is quite a stretch tbh. They’re left-lib at best.

      • Le_Wokisme [they/them, undecided]
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        6•23 days ago

        pigpoop

        • Z_Poster365 [none/use name]
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          3•23 days ago

          Removed by mod

      • OldSoulHippie [he/him]
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        1•22 days ago

        Removed by mod

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