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The Picard Maneuver to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 years ago

The man can't help himself

lemmy.world

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The man can't help himself

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 years ago
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  • @ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    The footprints in the snow that show he was still pissing off the deck.

    My only question is why does she care?

    • @Lmaydev@programming.dev
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      76•2 years ago

      Maybe she doesn’t want her deck to smell like piss

      • cheesymoonshadow
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        30•2 years ago

        Or the plants to die. Large shrubs can be expensive to replace.

        • @some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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          4•2 years ago

          Ok, just piss in the corner then.

        • @PeePantsMcgee@lemm.ee
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          3•2 years ago

          I finally stopped peeing off the porch when I killed 2 rose bushes. Now I walk 2 steps off the porch and kill the grass

      • @RagingRobot@lemmy.world
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        16•2 years ago

        Weird

        • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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          2 years ago

          I know… it’s pretty much written into marriage vows, “till death do us part or one of us stops pissing from the deck”. She needs to fulfill her duties and start joining him at night on the deck

      • @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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        2•2 years ago

        He is pissing off the deck. And no the ground won’t start smelling like piss from that lol

        • slazer2au
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          10•2 years ago

          Depends where the last few drops go.

          • @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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            17•2 years ago

            You’d have to have quite a lot of last few drops to smell up the place. Or some ridiculously potent piss.

            • @FreakinSteve@lemmy.world
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              7•2 years ago

              Have you ever seen a public urinal?

              • @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                2 years ago

                No of course not. Please elaborate. Do they get similar amounts of users or something else that’s comparable?

                • @Guntrigger@feddit.ch
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                  4•2 years ago

                  I’m now more interested in how you’ve never seen a urinal.

                  • @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                    8•2 years ago

                    Bless your heart

                • @FreakinSteve@lemmy.world
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                  0•2 years ago

                  They all have misses and drips all around them. It’s such a simple skill that men can’t master even when an entire industry was built to accommodate them.

                  • @Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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                    2•2 years ago

                    But you are blasting piss off the porch, the direction is away from you. Almost all of the splatter is gonna end up on the lawn, where you’re pissing anyway.

            • Pyr
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              6•2 years ago

              Not if he does it every night. A few drops after a few weeks is a fair bit and wood soaks up liquid pretty good.

              • @tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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                10•2 years ago

                Wood for an outside deck isn’t going to be soaking up much liquid, or the deck would turn to shit after a couple rainstorms. It’s probably pressure treated

            • @RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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              5•2 years ago

              I’m now imagining him getting bottles of concentrated piss and pouring it off the deck in the middle of the night to deter predators.

          • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
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            4•2 years ago

            I imagine there’s a racoon hiding underneath the boards, just lying there with its mouth open, waiting

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