Perhaps it’s not you who are facing some struggles, but you know someone, a close friend, or a family member, who is facing mental health issues. (I am sure we all know at least someone in this situation). Perhaps you want to help them but don’t know how. Perhaps you have tried but without much success.

Whatever it is, firstly, thank you for caring for your family member or friend. Whether they told you personally about their problems, or you notice their condition yourself, I am sure that you are a kind, trustworthy, and sensitive soul that the person is blessed to have in their life, especially in their times of need. Here are some suggestions of what you can do to help them better - 3 DO’s and 3 DON’Ts:

• DO be present. Sometimes the greatest help and support for someone who is facing mental health challenges is just to have someone who can be there with them, to listen to them without passing on judgement or advice, to truly accept them even when they don’t understand. Make it clear to them that you can be that person, make yourself available if they want to talk.

• DO your homework. If there is anything you don’t understand comes up when they share, do some research - not to become an expert but just that you may find new ways to help and support them. Also gather some information on the resources of help you can get for them and for yourself if needed, like emergency services or help agencies. See the list below.

• DO take care of yourself too. When caring for people, we care for their needs, we mourn with them, and sometimes we even have to bear the effect of their mental emotional challenges. We may even have the daily life challenges we need to face of our own. Remember that one way to care for them is to care for ourselves.

• DON’T judge. As mentioned above, most of the times, people need acceptance, not advices, understanding, not opinions. Avoid the urge to tell them what to do, or dismiss their sufferings.

• DON’T gossip. If someone shares their struggle with you, most likely it’s you whom they trust. If you want them to get more help and support from close friends or family members, share the information on their terms.

• DON’T take it all on yourself. You can be the empathy ear for them, but you don’t have to be the expert. Don’t be frustrated with yourself for seemingly not helping them, reducing their sufferings, or making them feel better. Sometimes when they share their inner struggles with you all that have already been achieved.