Love how drag lives rent free in your head. Seriously, get a hobby dude, obsessing about a trans person this much is not healthy.
At any point you could have simply blocked drag, but no, engaging with drag is so much better, isn’t it? Now you’ve made posts upon posts and comments upon comments about how blahaj is weird, about how drag does not deserve to have drag’s pronouns respected, and how admins/mods/whatever on blahaj are bad.
To what end? To tell the greater user base that your opinion is superior? To make it known that drag is weird and in turn potentially cause drag to be harassed? To have the admins and mods be harassed? To have individual users with non-standard pronouns harassed?
You say you don’t care and wish Blahaj well, but your posts and comments say otherwise. My friend, it might not have been your goal, but your posts and comments are rather inciting in nature, people will get harassed because of you.
Ay bro who cares.
If you enjoy debating this stuff find that space.
If you are bothered by it let it go.
If someone can’t be weird on the Internet when can they be weird? Like let people do their thing man
Honestly, I didn’t care until the admins got involved. I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned drag in anything other than passing before this. Now that the admins are saying that denying that dragonfucker is a gender or that dragons exist is a removable and bannable offense? Not feeling like sticking around on Blahaj after that, unfortunately.
It’s just not worth it imo. Easy to coexist around and not care
I bet in regular conversation on the topic of dragons nobody is going to lose their shit about you reminding people a dragon is a mythical creature.
But if you put it in context of this person it becomes mockery and that’s not cool.
I bet in regular conversation on the topic of dragons nobody is going to lose their shit about you reminding people a dragon is a mythical creature.
But if you put it in context of this person it becomes mockery and that’s not cool.
Likewise, in regular conversation on the topic of the earth, no one is going to lose their shit over me reminding people the world is round.
But saying it to a flat-earther, it takes on a very different tone.
But both of those examples fail to fully encapsulate what is being shown here - these posts in the OP? They’re all from a thread in which drag is not a participant, in a comm where drag is literally banned. This is not even “Don’t tell flat-earthers the earth is round”, this is “Don’t ever suggest that flat-earth isn’t valid”.
don’t make marginalized people be more marginalized. I don’t see how it matters if it happens in another instance if I was spouting hateful rhetoric but didn’t do it here does that keep me safe?
I mean, I’m a Taurus, a gamer (ttrpg kind, i don’t use the gamer word), and identify more with cats than dogs, but none of that is gender related nor gets it’s own pronouns. heck I’m a transhumanist so i fully get the desire to not be human, but its all a little dumb imo ┐(シ)┌
That said, i just ignored the guy you’re talking about and enjoyed more interesting conversations. Like the topic of pronouns in general! We absolutely could use better ones
Personally I blocked the guy a long time ago
I didn’t even know what was going on around here until I dug into it and found the source the situation
PJ is a smug neolib who hates anyone but the status quo.
Man i am not on lemmy enough to keep up with the drama lol
Dude you don’t gotta announce your departure
Let me know where you end up, I always feel like walking on thin Ice here.
Going to see if 196 on .world is available.
deleted by creator
For those not familiar with DragonFucker/Rider/Drag:
Dragon uses the pronoun “drag” in place of “I”, “drag’s” in place of “my”.
They wouldn’t say:
I like cheese. Blueberry isn’t my favorite. I know what my heart wants.
They would say:
Drag likes cheese. Blueberry isn’t drag’s favorite. Drag knows what drag’s heart wants.
Beyond whether or not they literally think they are a dragon, going to marry a dragon, beyond even using ‘drag’ as a custom neopronoun that normally replaces 3rd person pronouns…
They are using what they call their own custom first person pronouns, but this reads to basically every English speaker as constantly referring to themselves in the 3rd person by using their own nickname, akin to the royal ‘we’.
Dragon has told me that they don’t see “drag” as a nickname, but as a pronoun.
… I don’t think they are trolling, in the sense of just doing something annoying to get a rise out of people, a voluntary activity one choses to do consciously.
Their grammatical behavior is consistent across all their posts, they don’t only engage in it from time to time.
I’ve even had a few conversations with Dragon where I’ve attempted to explain that half of the hate they get and arguments they get into stem from people misunderstanding what they are saying, because of their extremely niche way of using pronouns.
They’ve told me, directly, that my understanding of how their pronouns work is correct, and that this proves that their pronoun/grammar style is thus not confusing, and that eventually everyone will just adapt and understand them.
…Despite the fact that I told them I had to do like an hour worth of research to figure out how this all actually works, which Dragon … intially chastized me for, saying it was all clearly evident from their profile (it wasn’t), and that I did not need to do that much research…
…even though I seem to be the only person I am aware of explaining Dragon’s grammar/pronoun style in every thread we both happen to be in where most other people are just misunderstanding them and that leading to arguments.
Anyway, I’ve never heard of anyone using custom pronouns for “I” and “my” until Dragon.
Ever.
I myself am queer, have run in many circles with many lgbtqia folks, and I’ve even dated a queer person legitimately diagnosed with DID, and not even they would use their own custom first person pronouns for their alters, or the collective system of alters as a whole…
I wonder if their point is basically to stress test the pronouns system we have,
e.g. make people think about why we use them and why we need thembasically doing something to an extreme to show the issues/benefits it entails
I respect drag’s pronouns. Correct me if I’m wrong, but referring to drag with “they” is not right?
They wouldn’t say:
I like cheese.They would say:
Drag likes cheese.Not trying to pull a gotcha or anything, it just confuses me because I keep seeing comments defending drag’s pronouns while also using they/them.
First of all, thanks for your explanation. That made everything clear. Secondly:
and I’ve even dated a queer person legitimately diagnosed with DID
What does DID mean?
Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Colloquially known as multiple, or split personality.
Ah, thanks for the Info.
I’ve seen some people refering themselves with their own name, though all of them is online and haven’t met one irl.
Also if people watch We Bare Bears, Ice Bear always refering himself as “Ice Bear” and never “I”. No one watching the show seems to hate him, however.
Personally i don’t really care, not sure what’s the fuss around Drag using it tbh.
Edit: it seems there’s more to this story i’m not aware of after reading all the comment, if that’s the case i might’ve mistaken the situation :/
Also now i do remember meeting someone that refer to herself in 3rd person.
Drag is a perfectly fine user.
Drag is not a tankie. Drag is not a fascist. Drag is not a bigot, not a paedophile, not a scammer, not a rapist, not a billionaire, not any manner of individual that you should be directing your rage toward. Drag is a respectful member of the queer community, like you, like me, or like anyone else. That alone in my books makes a friend, and not an enemy. So what, I had to take ten seconds to connect the pronoun “drag” to what I already know about language?
I, personally, don’t find it a major inconvenience to show a little kindness. Also, drag is cute, in my opinion.
What exactly was the issue with my posts? Just curious
Edit apparently gatekeeping and trans med stuff. That’s…a misinterpretation, but it’s okay whatever, lol
I knew Blahaj was never ‘for’ me, but I always felt comfortable here. Guess that’s over. Ada and the admins have the right to cultivate the community they want to see on Blahaj, and I wish them the best of luck going forward.
I’m going to miss 196 and Femcelmemes, but… well, Blahaj isn’t for me, since I don’t acknowledge ‘dragonfucker’ as a gender.
deleted by creator
I sure fuckin hope not, lemmy.world admins and mods are generally even more incompetent than the others.
Agreed, moving 196 to .world is a terrible idea.
I’ve had some bad run-ins with Lemmy.world mods, certainly, but the admins seem overall fine, if amateurish. They generally take into account feedback and try to provide the full rundown of any actions taken. When one of the admins crossed a line of participation/moderation/administration in the recent vegan cats debacle, they chose to clarify and have the admin admit wrongdoing.
Far from perfect, but they’re tolerable.
Mods are one thing, users are another. Didn’t the vegans leave because users kept coming in and ignoring community guidelines, then go around the mods to disregard the community guidelines not because they care about animals but because they don’t like vegans? The dog pile was pretty gross from what I remember. None of the meta discussions focused on mod behavior; all of them were anti vegan circle jerks.
I pretty distinctly remember the vegans leaving because their primary complaint was about the admin taking action.
deleted by creator
Well first of all there should probably be a pinned poll about whether 196s subscribers and users actually want to move. After that if people actually think its necessary to move, you can make a pinned poll about suggestions for a new instance.
By “asap” I didn’t mean any minute now. :p Rest assured we wouldn’t make such a big change without at least telling you guys outside of a comment on a random post. And I agree a poll would be a good idea.
And apparently I was mistaken about some things, so I’ve deleted my comment. Until further notice, just disregard what I said. Any major changes to 196 will be announced by the other mods, probably through a sticky post.
Edit: Since I deleted the last post I’ll clarify here, too, that we weren’t making any major changes due to the neopronouns thing. It was just something I saw being discussed a good while ago and assumed it was still underweigh.
Darn, I’m really going to miss it then. lemmy.world has not been worth keeping in my feed generally.
Yeah me too, been a lot happier without . world bickering in my feed but will be sad to lose 196
deleted by creator
That is some comfort!
deleted by creator
Hope you get banned soon <3
You can just leave, we could care less
That means you do care…
( At least a little!)
I hate these word crimes!
I care that he bothered to make a whole post about it yeah, but not that he’s leaving
I’m sad that one user has caused so much trouble for so many people on here. I don’t get the current situation at all, as it’s small potatoes compared to the myriad of transphobes and tankies from other instances. I don’t often block users, but I don’t see how this issue isn’t just tied to a single one who would be better off blocked.
I don’t get how wider political discussions get roped into personal problems. If a person was a really nice “dragonfucker,” I don’t know if we’d be having this conversation. It’s fine to dislike a person without seeing them as immoral or a political enemy.
I’ll be sad to see you go, especially over this 😞
honestly the dragonfucker problem would’ve come up one way or another, dragonfucker is the direct cause that pulled the trigger but the shell and propellant was already in place
I don’t often block users, but I don’t see how this issue isn’t just tied to a single one who would be better off blocked.
That’s the problem with precedents. Especially when the precedent is established with a user whose behavior is already quite… non-ideal.
I’ll be sad to see you go, especially over this 😞
Yeah, I’m not thrilled either. I enjoyed Femcelmemes very much. I hope your community continues thriving!
The comment defending “drag” as a pronoun (and banning people over it) even uses “they” twice. Apparently admins don’t have to follow the ridiculous, made up rule. They can just ban anyone who calls it ridiculous.
drag explicitly doesnt mind people using they/them
It goes back and forth.
I haven’t spoken about a specific user in any of this…
fyi, dragonfucker is banned from 196 too. I think the moderators are pretty fair in yeeting people for being rude, regardless of opinions on gender and the like
That’s why I seem so lost on this whole thing
I don’t think I’ve ever seen their posts or comments
Edit: I also apparently had them blocked as well.
Wait I just saw some femcel posts like 2 hours ago, was it actually banned?
Removed by mod
what a way to start a drama over a fucking joke
Ah lol, your heading is really ambiguous. This initially looked like you were supporting the ban and saying “goodbye” to them.
Sorry about that.
Guess it doesn’t matter over-much. Just felt sad about it and felt the need to make one last post.
Removed by mod
I cannot see any Lemmy account which the writer of the removed comment could possibly be referring to.
Hypothetically, if there were a user whom all but the admins/mods could conclude to be a troll, all users could individually block said hypothetical troll and advocate for blocking of accounts that come across at first glance, second glance, and even ten hundredth glance to seem to be trolls. This would allow the users to avoid the frustrations wrought by the hypothetical troll as well as prevent users from incriminating themselves within the admins’ and mods’ rules by not interacting with nor even referring to the aforementioned hypothetical troll specifically.
This is all purely hypothetical of course.
Again, I cannot see any Lemmy account which the writer of the removed comment could possibly be referring to.
However, I’m sure the admins/mods couldn’t knock you for gracefully advocating for wariness of nonspecific trolls in general if you happen upon a situation in which you think that warning may be particularly helpful.
You can also just block users whom you get bad vibes from for whatever reason, whether you believe them to be genuine or maliciously disingenuous.
Do admins have access to a tally of how many users have blocked a given account? This may give them an indication of whom the user masses consider to be problematic accounts.
Get Glomph’d on! Thankfully I’ve never met someone who actually wants people to refer to them as dragonkin outside of FFXIV roleplay servers.
It feels like every time drama pops up, I go through a period of confusion before realizing it involves someone I blocked and forgot about. You’d think I would have learned by now.
Yeah seriously, its not that deep, just block and move on.
Yea I don’t get it… if it bothered me I’d just block that one person and move on…
Removed by mod
For people who identify as other types, like other kin etc., that’s a sexual preference, and unrelated to gender and pronouns.
i’m not sure how your understanding of otherkin has glitched badly enough to where you think it’s a sexual preference. what do you think otherkin is?
Removed by mod
I still don’t follow why you’re calling it an aspect of sexual preference rather than identity. It seems like you don’t really know where our understanding of the world comes from, which is important for contextualizing this conversation.
At a fundamental, neurological level, we can never really exist in objective reality. The world is nearly infinitely complex and impossible for any mechanical process to fully grasp, so all biological thinking machines need to simplify the world to have any understanding of it. This is a fairly post modernist perspective, but not one that says objective reality doesn’t exist. Rather, I’m saying that we cannot experience the outside world based on our current understanding of neuroscience.
We have tracked how external stimuli are not only recorded into finite chunks, but further simplified multiple times as the signal travels downstream. It’s a more efficient and lossy compression algorithm than anything we see outside of AI, which themselves copy what our brains already do.
All this results in a troubling conclusion about science and philosophy: it is all constructed, and it always will be. Bisexuality is a category we came up with; a form to simulate external reality in our finite brains. This is true for everything, no matter how objective we think it is. Even if we had a final Grand Unified Theory of physics, it would only be an imitation made of the untouchable rules of reality.
That is what queer theory teaches us about all attempts at understanding. The question of other kin isn’t about which group we put it into, but about why we need to put them there in the first place. How does seeing it as part of gender identities or sexual identities help us understand it? How does that understanding help us live better lives or be better to each other?
I don’t care for this drag character, nor do I think we should waste time worrying about such people. If they act like a-holes, it says little about their identity. No identity can make up for being an inconsiderate douche-canoe, and shitty behavior can come from anyone.
Rather, I’m saying that we cannot experience the outside world based on our current understanding of neuroscience.
This is an unnecessary constraint, just because we don’t know how to fully understand or explain something yet doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a basis in reality
The constructed simulation we live in gets constantly updated based on real world stimuli, but we often overwrite that stimuli with expectations. So long as it helps us get what we want, our perception doesn’t need to be accurate. We sometimes can’t see reality until it smacks us in the face; forcing us to accept it or die.
It’s painful to face unfortunate realities, so we often refuse perceive them. This is not an unnecessary constraint, but a humbling truth. The only way we could ever avoid this is by becoming an omniscient god with infinite processing power.
I don’t follow how any of that even applies, but really just because you can’t face a reality doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. In fact, one’s avoidant behavior implicitly acknowledges it’s true nature.
All arguments about definitions are about what words should mean to best serve us. All ideas work this way, especially scientific ideas. They’re all just tools, not objective or stable forms that we discover. The line between scientifically validated understandings and pseudoscience isn’t sacred, but constantly in flux. This isn’t a fault of science, but its greatest strength. We only make progress by testing limits and attempting to falsify what we assume to be true.
Using science to exclude other kin from gender identity overestimates our knowledge. I don’t personally think it’s just a part of gender identity, but related to some other aspect of identity. At the same time, science is barely starting to understand gender, and currently knows almost nothing about nonbinary identities.
There is no scientific explanation for drag, so anything we come up with is total conjecture. As a result, we should just accept our ignorance for now and move on. Doing otherwise is denying the limits to our knowledge.
that’s a lot of words. allow me to summarize your argument, and please correct me if i’ve misunderstood.
A. humans are rational creatures
B. rational creatures make rational choices, unless influenced by madness or sexual preference
C. being otherkin is a choice D. choosing to be otherkin is an irrational choice E. otherkin are not mad ∴ otherkin choose to be otherkin due to a sexual preferenceyour conclusion does seem to follow logically from your premises, though I don’t think i agree with the truth of most of those premises.
I didn’t say sexual preferences are irrational, and I didn’t say other kin are irrational
Removed by mod
I think it’s interesting that 4chan has invented “anon” as, functionally, a naturally occurring genderless neopronoun. I would argue even more genderless than xe/xim because while xe/xim was created in relation to gender, anon was created with no connection to gender at all. Xe/xim is “not he or she” whereas anon is he, she, they, xe, or anything else.
There’s other words as well (homie, oomfie, bestie) that are functionally genderless neopronouns although these (and anon) are commonly used alongside gendered pronouns eg: anon posted his greentext on 4chan, I visited bestie and her dog.
Now I’m not recommending that anybody starts using anon/bestie pronouns or anything, cause if bestie wants to do that then bestie will have to deal with how awkward it sounds. But, I’m generally more partial towards these absolutely genderless naturally-occurring neopronouns over the relatively genderless constructed xe/xim. And I’m curious if anybody else has thoughts about these.edit: mods what did you do to my parents 😭
My thoughts on the second point: I find that constructed neopronouns (particularly any of them that use the letter x) and bespoke pronouns (like “drag” as mentioned before) have an air of immaturity to them that make it difficult for me to take seriously. I also tend to find them aesthetically displeasing. I also don’t think it makes sense for bespoke pronouns to be considered “pronouns” in the same way common, neo, and the aforementioned (what I’m now going to call) slang pronouns are, because by their very nature they refer to a specific individual rather than being a word that can be readily applied to a great many individuals.
As for my thoughts on the first point, I hadn’t ever thought of those words as pronouns, but after thinking about it, it makes sense to me.
The only reason why I’d say society doesn’t need to cater to individualized pronouns other than a set of agreed terms for flexibility and inclusion is so that every single time someone interacts with a person, they don’t have to work too hard to collaborate and cooperate.
Remember that everyone is trying to self actualize, and and any one person is not here to cater to just your preferences. Some people have limited mental capacity, so it’s just kinder to forgo imposing all of your self expressing desires on them.
If you can express yourself and live and thrive, then that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter that you convince every single asshole that your pronouns should be whatever/whatever.
