• @sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    3512 hours ago

    Here me out on this:

    1. Join the war on the US side
    2. Be really bad at your job, causing tons of friendly fire accidents
    3. Defect to Canada before they catch you
    4. Enjoy some well earned pancakes with authentic maple syrup

    If you go to Canada right away, there’s no way you’re getting the maple syrup rations as a foreigner.

    • @bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1112 hours ago

      Only doing this if I get a moose steak with those pancakes.

      Moose aren’t like a sacred animal in Canada right?

      • @nepenthes@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        7
        edit-2
        11 hours ago

        Moose are revered and they are to be respected!! They can stomp your face effortlessly.

        I believe Aboriginal cultures have many deep ties with the moose. I think some people hunt and eat them, but it’s not really a thing on a menu where I am (urban west coast), and is moreso a maritime/Newfoundland menu thing.

        Regardless, we build many statues to them: (I have only seen one of these in person [top right, Deer Lake Newfoundland].)

        Image transcription: Five moose statues from around Canada. Moose are 2m or 8 6.5-7 feet tall (at the shoulder), so these are some bigass sculptures. One, which was a memorial for a man who died of cancer, is now covered in bras for breast cancer awareness/fundraising.

        Edit: converting metres to feet is hard to do in my head.

  • @leadore@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1812 hours ago

    Once trump cuts off all government funding from the blue states as he keeps threatening to do, maybe they could join Canada as provinces. It should be win-win considering the blue states contribute more to the federal govt. than they receive from it; while red states receive more than they contribute. So they would make Canada stronger and Trumpistan weaker. Trump wants to expand US lands to impress his idol putin and be like him, but instead he would lose territory.

    • @explodicle@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      511 hours ago

      The only meaningful argument against secession is that individual states would be weaker against invaders.

      Except it didn’t work. We were invaded over the internet and lost. What are we protecting ourselves against? Being invaded by a world power that gives its people health care? Losing the democracy we just lost despite never having it to begin with?

      The USA is bad for everyone now… Even Americans.

    • @Pieisawesome@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      311 hours ago

      It’s a nice idea, but they should be independent.

      California has a larger population (and also GDP, I believe) than Canada.

      It makes no sense that Canada would want to more than double its population overnight.

      • Natanox
        link
        fedilink
        English
        411 hours ago

        Create a Union. Let Europe help - we’re VERY interested in a strong and democratic North American continent, and perhaps we can teach one or two things about democratic resiliency to the so-called “land of the free”.

    • SSTF
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1613 hours ago

      Serious hat for a moment, but the idea that Canadians burnt the White House is a misconception. It was British soldiers from units raised outside of Canada, which had been sent over for the war which did that.

    • @kreskin@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      312 hours ago

      More than half of the US will literally be throwing flowers at your feet as you march toward the capital to burn it. Its about the only thing both parties agree on. Well, that and taking AIPAC bribes to fund a genocide,both parties are down with that too. And guns now I guess. And closing the border.

  • Miles O'Brien
    link
    fedilink
    English
    6717 hours ago

    I follow the proud American tradition my grandfather had of fighting fascism.

    If the government of the states decides to be fascist, well…

  • @M0oP0o@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    7
    edit-2
    11 hours ago

    The usa thought the insurgency was bad in Afghanistan, wait until they see the combo of the largest undefended boarder, a people with a very similar look and culture (at least for language) and oh yeah a unpopular occupation of the country that has had more entries added into the Geneva conventions then any other nation.

    Yeah, and about those nukes in shared sites on Canadian land, all isolated and infamously under defended…

  • Smuuthbrane
    link
    fedilink
    English
    2617 hours ago

    Thank you for your future service.

    We pay in healthcare and not giving a damn if you smoke up.

  • @ruk_n_rul
    link
    English
    614 hours ago

    Y’all’s about to see a Canadian’s real war face… On their homeland.

  • erin
    link
    fedilink
    1518 hours ago

    well on one side Canada has Wali and can resurrect Leo Major with their secret maple syrup potion, on the other side they would loose access to their F-35 fleet. So I don’t know if Canada has a chance or not.

    If Canada find a way to clone Leo Major and send one Leo Major on each American city, it’s an easy win for Canada. Can Mapple Syrup clone people?

      • masterofn001
        link
        fedilink
        English
        3
        edit-2
        13 hours ago

        Diversity in that it will be Canadians proper rather than Brits along with any and all who wish to participate.

        Equality in that the US should receive what it has given and what it threatens.

        Inclusion in that everyone is welcome to the bonfire. To paraphrase some fuckwad, ‘be there, it’ll be wild’.

  • @Maggoty@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    416 hours ago

    Whoa there your choices are snow, jungle, desert, or Arctic ice if you join the US side. Come on how many wars do you get to choose which server environment to play on? And if we do really good we can get the DLC level European Island Country! They say that one will feature the Navy more prominently.