I jerk off daily and am worried about deathgrip problems. Should I invest in a fleshlight? Or are they not as good as advertised? If so, any product recommendations?
I jerk off daily and am worried about deathgrip problems. Should I invest in a fleshlight? Or are they not as good as advertised? If so, any product recommendations?
Interesting user name.
So, I don’t use that kind of thing myself. Too much hassle, and expense, for my taste.
However, I know guys that do, and know them well enough to talk about this kind of thing. General consensus is that good toys really can reduce or eliminate the problems caused by death grip. Fleshlight is a reputable brand, and they are supposedly durable as well as providing a pleasant experience. Clones/knockoffs exist though, and the only complaint I’ve heard is that they don’t last as long before developing tears and cracks. So, if you wanted to try on out with minimum investment, you can just look for whatever’s cheapest and see if it helps.
Fwiw though, death grip is remediable without a toy. It just takes longer because the toy provides a similar intensity of sensation without the same pressure and friction. But I’ve never met anyone that took much longer than a month to at least reduce their death grip dependence without toys. Well, unless they had severe keratinization issues, but that’s a medical thing separate from death grip itself.
For anyone curious, keratinization occurs when, after circumcision, the head of the penis develops a type of callus, reducing sensation and potentially causing other problems. It’s also why some circumcised men develop a death grip in the first place.
Can I ask, what is “death grip”? Never heard of it but this post makes it seem like a big thing.
Death grip is caused by masturbating and squeezing too hard or generating too much friction. It causes your penis to desensitize and makes it harder for you to orgasm.
Bizaroland nailed it.
A lot of young men, or more likely boys, have difficulty reaching orgasm when they first start to masturbate. Sometimes it might start because they just want things more intense, but what I’ve seen and heard makes having difficulty the more common origin.
So, they squeeze harder and go faster to increase friction. Once they get used to doing it that way, the nervous system gets used to it. That degree of pressure and speed become necessary, even after the original resistance changes as they age up and the body is better prepared for orgasm.
It’s more common among circumcised boys and men, but even some uncircumcised folks can develop the habit.
All of that would be a minor issue except that when the boy or man tries to have sex, it is unlikely to provide as much stimulation. This is particularly true of vaginal sex, but applies to oral and anal as well.
This means that a majority of men that have habituated to death grip have a lot of trouble, or even be completely incapable of, achieving orgasm and/or ejaculation with a partner.
To an extent, it’s similar to hearing a loud noise. You hear a loud bang, and your ears start ringing, which results in needing any sounds to be louder for a while. Then, if you keep encountering loud noises, your ears may ring much longer. Unlike that comparison, the desensitization death grip causes isn’t permanent even after years of doing it, unless there’s some underlying cause for the desensitization to begin with.
The reason it’s more common in circumcised men is that the head of the penis is supposed to have the protection and moisture provided by the foreskin. If you go look at photographs of the clitoris, you can see that they will normally be quite moist even when not aroused. That’s the way the penis is supposed to be, and when the head dries out it can be less sensitive as well as develop a thicker layer of skin that worsens the lack of sensation.
The foreskin is also very sensitive, and provides more sensation during all forms of sex and masturbation.
Thankfully I’m not experiencing keratinization (yet). For the guys who got out of deathgrip in a month, did they not jerk off at all for that period? Or did they find other ways of getting off?
Generally, you take a small break. A week or so. Enough to enhance the horny, so to speak. Sex with someone else is fine though, in general, as anorgasmia during penetration is the biggest death grip side effect to begin with.
Then you come back (pun intended) with the usual process of reconditioning your brain to and nervous system to accept less intense stimulation by using less intense stimulation. If that’s via a toy, or by making sure to use plenty of lube along with gentle pressure and slower motion, you go as light and easy as possible.
Most guys I’ve known irl that dealt with it were usually on track by the end of the second week. Maybe not ejaculating yet, but either orgasming without ejaculation or getting close. Towards the end of the month, ejaculation starts happening quicker, and usually starts getting more intense as well. Sometimes it can take longer to get back to full intensity orgasms, but generally by a month or so, orgasm via oral sex or vaginal starts happening reliably. Anal a little sooner, if the guy likes anal at all.
In a pinch, prostate massage can help get past a barrier. Don’t want to overdo it and become reliant on that, but if you’re getting close and it’s just not working, it’s worth a shot.
But, that first week, no masturbation at all. You gotta give your brain a break so that it can both realign easier, and be more aroused from lack of ejaculation. I’ve never heard of ejaculation with a partner interfering. But I think I’d skip using a toy if it were me.
Now, I never experienced real death grip issues personally. I had been given access to good materials when I was younger, so I knew that going hard can cause problems. But I do have minor keratinization, and did end up struggling a bit in my twenties with finding the right balance to both reach orgasm by myself and not interfere with sex. So I can say that small breaks definitely help with both sides of the matter from direct experience. If nothing else, try skipping a day or two if a week is too much.