I jerk off daily and am worried about deathgrip problems. Should I invest in a fleshlight? Or are they not as good as advertised? If so, any product recommendations?
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Worth the price because you know what you’re getting is good quality, vs rolling the dice on something from Amazon or elsewhere.
If you like to jerk off at the computer it’s annoying to use. It’s heavy (especially the standard size), so if you ever need your 2nd hand for something expect to have to rest it against the desk or yourself. Also if you plan on using it for more than 5 minutes while sitting expect to lose most of the lube into your pubes and down your balls, and you’ll have to add more lube (which can be done through the top at least).
If you don’t live alone and you really want to go at it then you need to consider that it’s not completely quiet. One of the ‘features’ is making it tight/suction-y by adjusting the end cap on the other end. Closing it completely is not great, for me at least, but I do enjoy it partially closed, which creates the issue of air running through the small gap and every pump make a FSSSH sound which isn’t stealthy at all and kind of annoying even if nobody is around to hear it. Taking the cap all the way off and it still feels good but your dick sloshing back and fourth still makes a sound when you’re really going at it so it’s still not entirely quiet.
As far as cleaning goes your should clean it right away, but I’ve balled it up into a towel and tucked it away and cleaned it 24 hrs later with no issue. I use some amount of soap when I do even though I don’t think it’s recommended. I’ve never bought their wash or whatever they try to sell you.
For lube I don’t recommend any jelly style lubes as they get gross rather quickly. Something like Astroglide works good enough but it ‘runs out’ quickly. The best I can recommend is KY Ultragel.
The best way to use a fleshlight IMO is laying down - hear me out. First of all, buy the smaller travel sized fleshlight, I think it’s called the Surge or something. You can do this with a regular sized one but it’s physical size can be a downside for this method. Start by taking the sleeve out of the tube, fold it into something like it’s taco filling (I use a cotton undershirt) so the entrance is recessed about 1 inch into the shirt (to catch and spilled lube while you’re getting in there). Drop some lube in and get going while fully laying down on it. The greatest benefit of doing it in this missionary position is your lube last 10x as long. I can fuck that thing for a good 30 min or more before needing to add more. The only problem is looking at porn while doing it. If you just use your phone or laptop anyways then you’re good to go. If you primarily use a desktop then you’ll need to get creative. I used to drop stuff into a Plex and then stream to my phone (not recommended). I later found an easier way to do it via your phone which is to just transfer a bulk of vids that I wanted to watch using the VLC app (go to Network, turn on Sharing via Wi-Fi, type the IP address into your PC browser, drag and drop videos over). This was sufficient for a while, but I’m a degen gooner so I upgraded to a portable display that I connect with a 10ft HDMI cable to my PC (bed is close by) and control with a wireless mouse (and keyboard on occasion).
No matter how you’re using it though, it does feel great to bust a nut in something with your dick fully enveloped over dirtying a towel or whatever you do normally. If you’re doing the laying down method I described be sure the end is on top of something to catch any cum you may blast out of it when finishing.
This is a great fuckin’ comment right here.
Certified gooner
The cleanup is a hassle.
I tried a few different models and didn’t find them to be significantly better than my hand.
I find i never use mine. Doesn’t feel that great and there’s a lot of prep and cleanup. My hand or living person is better
Handy (2) from Ohdoki. It’s so much nicer than stroking yourself and quite a bit easier to clean than a fleshlight.
I like mine. Definitely an improvement over the hand alone, but the additional bulk and cleanup does make it used less often.
If you want to dodge deathgrip, swap to humping instead of stroking. It’s not absolute but it’s better for that particular issue.
What is death grip?
Gripping your penis too hard during masturbation, so when it comes to actually having sex, you can’t get off because you’re used to the tight grip of your hand. That’s the theory, anyway.
My fiancée got me a lovense gush 2
It’s fucking amazing
I’d recommend it to anyone
Mine has lived under my bed for the last 4 years without being used. Too much of a pain in the arse to clean after use.
That said it does feel a lot better than ol’ fisto
Never used one, they look hard to clean. Magic Wands are kinda fun and you can get away with minimal cleaning
Definitely helped me with that.
With reducing deathgrip you mean? Do you use it every time or just occasionally?
Yes with that. I don’t use it anymore or just very seldom. But I also don’t masturbate as much anymore.
Interesting user name.
So, I don’t use that kind of thing myself. Too much hassle, and expense, for my taste.
However, I know guys that do, and know them well enough to talk about this kind of thing. General consensus is that good toys really can reduce or eliminate the problems caused by death grip. Fleshlight is a reputable brand, and they are supposedly durable as well as providing a pleasant experience. Clones/knockoffs exist though, and the only complaint I’ve heard is that they don’t last as long before developing tears and cracks. So, if you wanted to try on out with minimum investment, you can just look for whatever’s cheapest and see if it helps.
Fwiw though, death grip is remediable without a toy. It just takes longer because the toy provides a similar intensity of sensation without the same pressure and friction. But I’ve never met anyone that took much longer than a month to at least reduce their death grip dependence without toys. Well, unless they had severe keratinization issues, but that’s a medical thing separate from death grip itself.
For anyone curious, keratinization occurs when, after circumcision, the head of the penis develops a type of callus, reducing sensation and potentially causing other problems. It’s also why some circumcised men develop a death grip in the first place.
Can I ask, what is “death grip”? Never heard of it but this post makes it seem like a big thing.
Death grip is caused by masturbating and squeezing too hard or generating too much friction. It causes your penis to desensitize and makes it harder for you to orgasm.
Bizaroland nailed it.
A lot of young men, or more likely boys, have difficulty reaching orgasm when they first start to masturbate. Sometimes it might start because they just want things more intense, but what I’ve seen and heard makes having difficulty the more common origin.
So, they squeeze harder and go faster to increase friction. Once they get used to doing it that way, the nervous system gets used to it. That degree of pressure and speed become necessary, even after the original resistance changes as they age up and the body is better prepared for orgasm.
It’s more common among circumcised boys and men, but even some uncircumcised folks can develop the habit.
All of that would be a minor issue except that when the boy or man tries to have sex, it is unlikely to provide as much stimulation. This is particularly true of vaginal sex, but applies to oral and anal as well.
This means that a majority of men that have habituated to death grip have a lot of trouble, or even be completely incapable of, achieving orgasm and/or ejaculation with a partner.
To an extent, it’s similar to hearing a loud noise. You hear a loud bang, and your ears start ringing, which results in needing any sounds to be louder for a while. Then, if you keep encountering loud noises, your ears may ring much longer. Unlike that comparison, the desensitization death grip causes isn’t permanent even after years of doing it, unless there’s some underlying cause for the desensitization to begin with.
The reason it’s more common in circumcised men is that the head of the penis is supposed to have the protection and moisture provided by the foreskin. If you go look at photographs of the clitoris, you can see that they will normally be quite moist even when not aroused. That’s the way the penis is supposed to be, and when the head dries out it can be less sensitive as well as develop a thicker layer of skin that worsens the lack of sensation.
The foreskin is also very sensitive, and provides more sensation during all forms of sex and masturbation.
Thankfully I’m not experiencing keratinization (yet). For the guys who got out of deathgrip in a month, did they not jerk off at all for that period? Or did they find other ways of getting off?
Generally, you take a small break. A week or so. Enough to enhance the horny, so to speak. Sex with someone else is fine though, in general, as anorgasmia during penetration is the biggest death grip side effect to begin with.
Then you come back (pun intended) with the usual process of reconditioning your brain to and nervous system to accept less intense stimulation by using less intense stimulation. If that’s via a toy, or by making sure to use plenty of lube along with gentle pressure and slower motion, you go as light and easy as possible.
Most guys I’ve known irl that dealt with it were usually on track by the end of the second week. Maybe not ejaculating yet, but either orgasming without ejaculation or getting close. Towards the end of the month, ejaculation starts happening quicker, and usually starts getting more intense as well. Sometimes it can take longer to get back to full intensity orgasms, but generally by a month or so, orgasm via oral sex or vaginal starts happening reliably. Anal a little sooner, if the guy likes anal at all.
In a pinch, prostate massage can help get past a barrier. Don’t want to overdo it and become reliant on that, but if you’re getting close and it’s just not working, it’s worth a shot.
But, that first week, no masturbation at all. You gotta give your brain a break so that it can both realign easier, and be more aroused from lack of ejaculation. I’ve never heard of ejaculation with a partner interfering. But I think I’d skip using a toy if it were me.
Now, I never experienced real death grip issues personally. I had been given access to good materials when I was younger, so I knew that going hard can cause problems. But I do have minor keratinization, and did end up struggling a bit in my twenties with finding the right balance to both reach orgasm by myself and not interfere with sex. So I can say that small breaks definitely help with both sides of the matter from direct experience. If nothing else, try skipping a day or two if a week is too much.
Tenga egg is far superior, and cheaper and easier to clean, and…
Just better all around
I got one after a girl i was dating convinced me to get it. I didn’t like it at all. There are other sex toys for men that are cheaper and better, why get one that looks like a flashlight? Nobody is going to think it’s a flashlight, it’s huge.
I had one a few years ago, I liked it. But I think it is different for different people. I didn’t use it everytime because I like to change things up.
It is more hassle with cleaning but when you feel like penetrating something it was very good. If you are thinking of it and not broke, just get one and try it? If you don’t like it well, then you know.
